so as i sit down here and wonder what to type
only one thing keeps popping in my mind.
today marks the 2nd week of out r's

ITS ONLY FCUKING THE 2ND WEEK

it feels like 1month plus.
and i've only known her for 9months.
but in these 9 months. its like we spent
years as friends. thats how easily we clicked
and how truly comfortable we are in each
others presence.

she is etched in my head. where she will stay even
in the ruins of the aftermath. and it surely will come to pass as each day
ticks away. soon it will be that much dreaded time.

but lets not dwell in unchangeable facts when theres
much happiness to dive into.
2012 was boring. BUT its the fact that is just our 2nd movie.
its seriously hilarious. known her for so long and only watch 2 movies.
my friends finally got to see her and she my friends
glad it went smoothly.

then spent some time with her
before it was time to go home.
wish had more time though (:

cheers to the korean drama that
has been the 9 months of chasing aly
and lots of affection to my favourite lady in the world.
The day you said yes, you started a beautiful thing (:

well what can i say ?
schools a bitch and thats for sure
with a 1k word limit on a research paper
i'm starting to think that nursing is more fcuked up than before
but still i love that course because when everyone was against it
i begged to differ and i'm doing quite well.

and life with aly is just what i thought it would be
very different from the normal type of r's
but still every fun bit is still present.

and hamid birthday is coming up soon.
yesterday we met up after so long
and we chilled. share stories.
catch up on some stuff.
and as usual we smoked.

heard toms about paranormal activity and i wanna watch it asap.
even ganesan was disturbed for 1 week
that means the movie is really scary.
P.A. anyone ???

what do you do when girls affect you
and affect your friends
and they have no idea they are doing it

what do you do when someone is so hurt
and asking you questions
that arent really yours to answer

what do you do when people around you is suffeing
and you cant really do anything
but comfort the person without words

what do you do when you are like me
cant really express your emotions
and always having the same few expressions.

there is no awkward silence.
i wasnt even feeling anything
i was just anlayzing the situation
like a robot.
maybe thats what i am
a robot

because its just a failure to react
to comfort to help out.

i'm sorry i couldnt ease your pain

so today is officially the 2nd day
of being in a relationship with

ALYSSA MADJELISI !!!!!!!!!!

god knows how happy i've been
i dont think happy is the right word
more like cloud 9 ???
that seems more appropriate

and i still have yet to wrap the idea
that she is my beloved GF.
its like i'm dreaming ya know.

so many things have happened
and i never imagined
there'd be a happy beginning for me,us

and i'm smiling even as i type this
i'm screwed up :)
and this time round

i know it will last. =)

I actually did it.
9 months of waiting and i actually got the balls to do it.

what can i say.
i feel damn proud.
couldnt have done it any better.
it was perfect.
exactly the way i intended it to be

giving her a bouquet
reading a poem
( written by me )
i never knew i would actually take effort to do all this.
but shes special to me
and i wanted it to be special to her as well.

seeing the smile on her face was priceless.
its imprinted in my head.
and her reactions were a class act.
haha.
so what did she say ???
thats the question on your mind.
she said wait afew days.
i know you guys will be like damned.!

but for me its ok. i've actually waited for 9 months
afew days is nothing.

this happened in sunday on the 1st of novemember.
:)

but what happened yesterday and the wee hours of this morning are even better still.
when ever she says ahem* i'm over the moon. every darn single time.
and its hard for her to say it. but she still does. so its HEAVENLY feeling.

and i thought i was in love before. judging by what i've been feeling with her.
i hereby conclude what i felt before was not love.
its said love is a very powerful emotion.
now i understand the meaning of it.

i love you alyssa :D

i hate being confused about my own thoughts
very irritating.
usually i have no trouble figuring out myself
but this past few days have been torturous

maybe i should leave the whole matter to rest
and not care about it
but i cant seem to help myself.

i want to lose control now
drink as much
smoke as much
go crazy.

but it wont help.
it never does.

i shouldn't have waited for this long

i'm back to school
back again. and 2.1 is darn stressful
i'm saying it but i aint feeling it yet
haha

so much has happened
and to that someone
i never meant to hurt you so much
i always thought i could treat you SO much better
but in the end i still made you cry
sorry
there just wasnt the "it" factor.
the ugly truth.

and to others;particularly 1.
you claim you trusted me. respected me.
i wonder how you saw me that highly in the first place
because you never knew me. not even once.
and thats the fact my friend.
any tom dick and harry can advice,empathize or sympathize.
its textbook answers. you dont have to be a perfect gentleman to do all that
and i never am i. and never will be.
i'm the scum of the earth. i swear. i just dont show because i'm too lazy to face the problems that will come if you guys knew the real me.
so do not be so let down by my actions.
i am who i am.

and to another person.
If only it hadnt taken you so long to realise it yourself
the months spent waiting for it was a long journey.
at least for me it was. But when you told me. the months turned into nothing.
and its an "out of this world feeling as they say" so cliche.
but its true. sometimes i wonder why i'm in neck deep.
but thats when i realise that i was submerged long ago.
and now that we are both in a very good position
i would like things to pick up from where it left off.
i wont tarry the matter much longer. and i think its my turn to have a shot.
the driver seat is yours to take.
will you buckle in and drive the car ?