a sticks lyf

1st overseas trip

2012-03-12T11:51:00.002+08:00

going off to brunei tonight.
looking forward to the JCC but not infantry package
if all goes well i will come back from brunei with a badge :D
then its 3weeks of training in s'pore then go thailand for another 24days
after that its just 2 months then commission already.

time to go to war with murphy's law

2012-02-02T16:46:00.004+08:00

yes i club
quite frequently in fact

but i dont go club for the girls
heck i dont even dance with girls

i go club to enjoy with my friends
drink some. tipsy alil and just have a good time

not all guys go club to grind girls
not all of them go club to get numbers

some are just like me
club because we just like to club

2012-02-02T16:46:00.003+08:00

black bar

2012-01-20T19:34:00.001+08:00

3 months down.
6more months to go.

i really want this.
i want it bad.
the black bar.

i'm going through all this training just for a black bar.

so for the next 6months im going to give it my all.

aim : sword of merit

new year

2012-01-04T11:48:00.002+08:00

its another new year.
another year older.
my year of adulthood. in literal sense.
i get to sign my own papers.

dont really feel like celebrating this year though.
last years was just beyond awesome. and i wanted my 21st to outdo that
but just 6 days to the big day the excitement is fizzing off.
partly because i dont get to celebrate the actual day due to camp.
partly.

its a whole new year to spend and i dont wanna be wasting it
chasing meaningless things, hoping for the impossible.

realised that whenever my mind wanders off about girls, my resolution drops as well.
going back to my previous mindset. going to achieve the important stuff in life 1st.

priorities will be commission,earn enough, gtfo of singapore.

cravings

2011-12-21T21:03:00.002+08:00

Do you understand me ?
Can you understand me ?

Its so boxed up.i want out. Out of this country. Out of everything I know. In a new place where my identity is mine to create. Its so small here that everyone knows everyone one way or another. Cceativity is massacred and freedom of speech is frowned. Opinions have to be challenged. Can't people say what they think and just leave it at that. Where are the people with sparks nowadays. Or am I too deep into my own shit that I don't see them anymore ???

What happened to the long runs. The treks, the beach trips. What happened to the simplicity of life. In a world where money rules life I myself have to change my lifestyle to accomadate it.

I just need a break is it too much to ask for

Do you understand me ?
Can you understand me ?

friends

2011-12-21T02:54:00.002+08:00

I met ganesan after a very long time. It was good to meet him and catch up. True friends are awesome. After such a long hiatus can still talk like we just met up yesterday.

Thabkgod I have the hermanos. We are family just not bound in blood.

Social night is coming up real2 soon. Haven't really asked anyone yet. I will still be going definitly but not too sure if I wanna bring anyone now. I need to find a girl who smokes, will not send a cold shoulder to my ocs mates and who I can have a pleasent time with. Seems like such a tall order. 3extras seem the easier choice.

Should I just risk it? Hmm.

New year is coming and plans are otw for siloso beach party again this year. I know its going to be AWESOME! And I'll happily take off my shirt to party this time around. No qualms on that :D

Maybe ill use this as my 21st celeb as well. Its such a hassle to plan for. And I'm abit unmotivated as well. Haha! Let's just see how the world turns for me :)

too soon an adult

2011-12-18T12:01:00.003+08:00

back when we were young, we wanted to grow up so bad
now that we are growing towards adulthood we look back at the years with a longing

i see all my juniors, my younger neighbours, all the small kids i used to know.
everyone is growing up so fast. i have been so amazed at this untill i realised that it only seems that way because im getting older as well. in less then a months time i will be an adult. haha cant imagine that. i get to make my own choices and sign my own papers. awesome or what.

but the change in me has been appalling.

i used to be fcuking loud
i used to cant stand still
i used to always get into trouble
i used to always irritate people
i used to always make fun of others
i used to do alot of things

but something just changed. and i cant seem to find the deciding factor. but somehow and somewhere i just changed i guess.

i like the quiet and peace
i can just sit there doing nothing at all. just smoking and listening to music.
i prefer to listen rather then talk.
i can go out alone and still enjoy myself.
i guess i can bite my cheek to say i have matured and become a teeny bit wiser.

theres more to think about but before all that lets just go along with the wind

2011-12-18T11:47:00.002+08:00

past few bookouts have been awesome.
because i got to meet you consistently.
and managed to go out out not just under blocks or parks.

everyone thinks im crazy or just being a fool or some even hate you
their stand is that you are using me and im a glorious idiot for not being able to spot that.

PSHHHH!

im not and idiot. i am perfectly aware. and i see nothing wrong in the situation.
i used to get so jealous last time. but not so much now. i can sit there and listen to you talk about other guys. and give my opinions here and there. so much has changed.
but

i still lose myself in those eyes
i still get excited at the thought of meeting you
i still get extremely happy when i see you
i still find myself thinking of you in the same ways

however i understand my chapter in your life ended a long time back. cheers in adding to new chapters in your life. maybe i will stick around to see maybe i wont (:

army

2011-12-18T11:34:00.004+08:00

POPed from tekong with awesome memories
and great new friends.
then currently im in ocs.
lifes tough here. from the slack life i had in scorpion
but its still manageable. and i have the best section mates.
and we are the best section in the entire wing.
the best 11man team out of 9sections
felt good to be awarded the batch. platoon3 section 3 FTW

moving on : seriously ?

2011-08-14T17:01:00.002+08:00

this is the part i dont really like.
when i'm so sure that its in the past. it becomes the present.
i dont get it. why ?! haha! its infuriating.
like mother fcuking seriously. like a parasite that cant be eradicated
wormed in too deep to be found. lying in wait. just when you think its in remission
it comes back. weaker then its last appearance. but it will grow steadily. until its stronger then its last defeat. i dont want you. nor do i need you.honestly. but its something that cant be explained by the two words.

oh i've tried. believe me. what you know isnt that only incident. there have been others. when out of the blue, thoughts just pop out and i cant continue my objective.
its ironically funny. reminds me of the movie zohan. adam sandler and his "problem"
idk why its like this. i mean im haris. haris stickman. for gods sake. i dont get axed down like this. fcuking never. and here i am typing this blog post because i am.

there are others out there that will treasure you and every min of being together. wait fcuk others. theres me. i treasure you. you are fcuking important even though i dissapear. but you are stuck over there. stuck like a brick half buried in sand. neither in or out. im there always just out of the sand pit. waiting there. unwantedly. but you dont want that do you. yeah im screwed up in all sense. but you make my screwed up life happy. happy enough for me to wait there to be honestly happy again. its been for so long and im still here. why ?!
because of you silly.

we have awesome conversation. good old times. we can have totally serious converstaions and still laugh our asses out. we can be perfectly silent and not feel akward. be in our moods and totally feel content. honestly im crippled that you are there. the grass is greener on the other side. cross over. enjoy the greenery. all this empty words are meant for you.

coz as much as im out there having fun. its only fun then. not before not after. and even in the fun i think of you silly. you are a keeper. allow yourself that little creature comfort. at the very least. as fcuked up as it will turn out to be, be with someone that knows your value. its too high a price for me to auction for. but there are others. acknowledge them. be with them. you DONT DESERVE this. please ?

life of a NSF

2011-07-23T23:04:00.002+08:00

guess i'd like someone.
someone i dont get bored with.
someone to hang out for once a week
someone to keep me from going utterly bored.

i like you. i honestly do.
i've been liking you for quite long.
i hope i will continue to like you.
coz love just complicates everything.
and so does r/s.
i enjoy being single.
but i'd like company.
so will you be my good friend.
even though you are my friend already.

to another friend. meeting with you is like waiting for the bigbang.
its like forever. and ever and ever. last time i had curfew so i had trouble.
now i dont have yet still have trouble. how la like that. i know you are busy.
so i'll just continue ranting.

i only get to be out on the mainland for 2days. i wanna meet you guys. everyone who is my friend. ya know chill out hang out. not every single week. but at least once in a few weeks. we live so near. almost all in the neighbourhood. but its like all living in different countries. so hard to meetup.
NS really takes away your mainland life.

sadded

2011-06-07T10:06:00.002+08:00

so ive graduated from nursing. and im now a fully registered nurse. im qualified to practice nursing. a pretty big deal for me. i've fought with almost everyone challenged all their beliefs and made it as a nurse. so im pretty proud of myself.

The next thing ahead for me is NS. i cant wait to go in already. its going to be a whole new lifestyle and im all hyped up for it to happen. the day after tomorrow at this time i will be in a ferry to tekong. haha ! cant wait.

have been spending my time meeting with my friends before i go in ns. maybe it is exaggerated. im not travelling to a faraway country. but lets be realistic. the girls all have started working or uni. the boys are goin in ns. and when i book out im going to hang out with the hermanos most of the time. it really is one of the last times i will see a great number of my poly friends.

my dream to leave singapore is fast approaching. i'm seriously considering Great Britain to take my nursing degree and work there. its a great place steeped with history and i love all the ancient stone feel buildings they have. its definitly my type of place to stay in. and also im more of a english person then an american person.

and it was nice to see you. it still seems i have to practice much self restraint when im with you. that surprised me. guess thing with you arent never normal :)note to self never look into your eyes too long. im afraid i will fall back in again. and i trust you more then you'll ever know. i just dont wanna bother you with my incapabilities as i'll put it. i'll crash and burn happily anyday but i will never bring anyone along for my hell ride.

cheers :D

blanket

2011-04-23T09:01:00.002+08:00

theres this person
outside my clique of close friends
i'll call this person blanket

you see. blanket is someone important. blanket has no idea of its importance. its the only person i ever really connected with other then hermanos. its a connection in the most basic level. essence. but recently i feel that blanket is so far gone from me. it takes two hands to clap. and i am really weary from all this one sided effort. Its like those type of bonds that even the thought of meeting the person will make you joyful. its not because the blanket is a funny person. i mean blanket is funny but im funnier (: if there even is such a word. blanket you are still as important to me as you have been. and thats a fact. i'll be there for you even if im like halfway through the world ONLY if you reach out to me.

blanket. i honestly miss you.

from,
forgotten stickman

time for change

2011-01-09T13:04:00.004+08:00

tomorrow i'm turning 20. not as big 21 when i'm an adult.

but its still big. its a transitional age. i'm at a junction in life.

i am no longer a teen. neither am i an adult. this is the age to

shed off my naive views and take on some responsibilities.

that doesnt mean i have to be a boring adult wannabe. nope.

that is not my intention. i am still going to have as much fun as humanely possible.

but there are some things that need to be left behind as i grow older.

some things that i have been too STUPID to keep on protecting all this while.

i mean lets face the facts. everyone/anyone can see how crazy in love she is with him.

and as much as i hate his guts. hes the one whos keeping her happy and satisfied. and hes

doing a damn good job at that.

so i respect you for that. just for the fact that shes happy with you. (:

and its about time i move on. seriously it is. how long am i going to be sad and emo-ing.

its not healthy and its not helping anyone. i think my friends are seriously annoyed everytime i mention her name (:

its time to meet new girls. as in really make an honest effort.

FYI. i still dont believe in love.

i still dont want to commit into r/s.

i'm just going to go around flinging

hey i'm still young to do that :D

this year more things will be happening...

its going to be a hell of a year

but before anything happens.

happy birthday to me

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO STICKMAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

happy birthday to me

i love bdae songs <3

nursing

2010-11-21T19:32:00.002+08:00

before i start my PRCP

i would like to blog :D

because i will only blog again after PRCP :D

i'm really happy that i chose nursing.

i may have complained, said it was a stupid course, grumbled throughout the 3years

but truthfully i never regretted choosing this course.

i can not think of any other course that i'd rather do.

i'm not an engineering person, it person, media person or even a science person.

i dont know what kind of a person i am. heck i dont even know if i'm cut out to do nursing as a full time job. but through PRCP i will find that out.

but what i wanna talk about is my poly life. i started my 1st day friendless. i'm leaving NP with so much more friends then i could have possibly known. i have changed so much in this 3years both in appearence and mindset. i've matured much more then before and am definitly more knowledgeable. i have learnt that thin line friendships exist and how friends from the same clique can stab each other. i have learnt to make friends carefully and be very wary of what i say. i have learnt to hide myself even better and to show others what they want to see instead. i've had freedom i never had before. did some awesome stuff. made some unforgettable friends and people.

Surely i havent made as much use of my poly life as others. but i bring back memories from here that could last me on my deathbed.

thanks to all those assclowns that i met/slacked/befriended/loved/got pissed at/ will find life a bore without/might never see again.

i will miss each and everysingle one of you guys.

goodbye :D

continuing on

2010-11-13T22:16:00.002+08:00

wow. its been ages since i blogged

6weeks of attachment has passed me by together with 2 more weeks of hols

now got 1 more week left in school(attachment)

then i will start my PRCP in Renci community hospital

abit nervous about renci because its my 1st time there

and i'm going for my PRCP so its either make or break

12 weeks in there so hopefully i really make my preceptor like me

shes going to be grading me and stuff. and its 14 credits

will really swing my gpa up. hope to graduate with 3points.

during my 2weeks had 2chalets. 1 was bullshit but the club night at butterfac

was AWESOME !!!!!!!!!!!

the bar dance was oh so sexy. and damn can she dance. i was mesmerized seriously.

she had the face the moves and the BODY.

damn! 3 in 1 baby (:

then rest until wed and chalet again. this chalet was AWESOME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after chalet went home rest for awhile and JB baby

1st time went to JB with friends :D

without folks knowledge. sneaked out with passport. told them going beach for bdae.

not to call because batt flat. nice idea :D (p.s.. i'm smart aint i ?)

go eat sheesha shop smoke. it was awesome to the max!!!

was entertaining everyone and it was helluva fun.

then project P started and 5 days just flew by.

must make the most out of the remaing 5days because they are officially

my last days in NGEE ANN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its official!!!!!!!! after PRCP i'm a graduate with a diploma in hand

NURSING diploma. my ticket to everywhere and anywhere. i'm glad i chose this course (:

seriously.

and thats that.

will update next weekdend. and wont be updating until PRCP ends.

attachment attachment attachment.

2010-10-11T10:06:00.003+08:00

so far i'm not really complaining about attachment. even though 1mth already flew by.
still can handle going to work. but i'm not a huge fan of my current ward
i want to go back to my previous ward oh so bad. Over there i'm a 3rd year student.
i can do the staff nurse jobs. here i'm a jr. stick to doing i/o's boring sia.
so many thing cannot do. then when we just standing there because we got nothing to do
we get analised. abit the unfair ?

i cant really be bothered even if i get a C grade for this ward. i just want to finish my skills and get this 10days over and done with. and theres the chalet plus loads of fun lined up for the whole 2 weeks. thats my lifeline for this 2weeks.

results have been exceptionally good. i didnt expect to get the highest gpa for the sem i slacked the most. but guess thats how these things work out. LOL. i got 2.6 for current and 2.3 for cumulative. very happy to know i wont be having exams for a very2 long time.

off to attachment. adioz

girls. ladies. hot chicks. smacks lips.

2010-09-02T22:35:00.002+08:00

i'm so bored right now.

so i shall blog about my type of girl.

(cracks knuckles. and all other crackable joints in the body)

i'm not a hypocrite. at times i am. but who isnt. for the most part i'm not

at least thats what i think (:

aite. so i love piercings and tattoos and i smoke and drink

and i'm not a hypocrite. (:

i like girls who have the above quality. i know all these=havoc

but i'm not a havoc person. i am just me.

truth is i'm still a club virign and a virgin. and i'm proud of both facts.

makes people go "what?!" seriously you ? such a goody two shoes "

haha.

i prefer fair girls. that doesnt mean i dont like dark ones.

maybe i dont like dark ones. not too sure about that. havent really considered. (:

i'm not much of a boob person either. guys usually gig girls with boobs.

i'm not most guys. i've seen awesomely hot ones who are nearly flat. so yeah.

legs are a turn on. seen those oh so smooth and long legs that just seem endless.

damn. wonder how some girls are just born with that. and they know how to walk with it.

awesome much ??? IKR :D

chinese girls seem to have the legs. long. tanned. endless. god i love those.

i've always liked tanned girls. i call them harshbrown. tanned girls reallly look good.

they are a turn on.

as i have said countless of times i dig "emo" girls.

i mean theres just something so inviting about them that draws me in.

those thick mascara. black nails. band tees. skin tight jeans. complete with a dr martin boots !!!

HELL YEAH!!!!!!!

i dig them but they dont dig me. how sad (:

punk hairstyles are so awesome. i seriously dont mind a girl with a mohawk. i think thats just awesome shit. how many girls have a mohawk ??!!!

they are so freaking rare.

piersings and tattoos i dont even have to say. i mean c'mon. its piercing and tattoos. my fetishes. with that my dream gf will be complete.

but

BUT

lets face the facts. i dig the rare type of girls in singapore. so i wont be finding one anytime soon as long as i'm here. well its good to dream aint it
(:

gotta love Kat Von D :D

self-indulgence 2

2010-08-21T11:47:00.002+08:00

i dont like indian girls. not the whole lot of them mind you.

but those different girls i like. i dont know how to say different.

hmm.. like to read books. not your typical indian girl.

they exsist but are freakingly rare.

so i can safely say i dont like indian girls

Chinese girls are also a no-no. not because i dislike them like indian girls (:

because most chinese girls are like my close friends.

never looked at a chinese girl that way before. guess its just a mental block.

i prefer malays i guess. dont ask me why. i dont really know myself.

But these days none of the girls matter because i'm not interested.

totally. i stopped seeing girls that way. because of some stuff.

but another totally logical reason is simple to understand for you guys.

I'm in my final lap of my nursing diploma.

so basically my entire last semester is going to be spent in hospital

doing my freaking daunting attachment.

i cant be juggling attachment and trying to woo girls.

Its just too freaking troublesome and i'm too lazy to eve think of doing it.

after that i have a few months ??? of freedom.

Then i have to go off to NS. 2 years gone.

after that i have to work my ass off for 1and a half years in hospital

to get my needed experience to fly outta of singapore.

nothing is more important to me then that. Thats no.1 priority.

after that god knows. maybe i'll become gay (:

i 've always wanted to get out of singapore. theres a whole world out there

to explore. no way i'm going to be bound by duties here. no freaking way.

am i bringing my parents along ? the answer is a NO!

This is my own selfish backpacking/eye-opening/higher studies/ trip.

It is going to be a wild journey. Not something for my parents to bear witness.

think whatever you want. its not that i'm leaving for good. i MIGHT come back.

that depends on the future. My sis will be here in singapore and i'll send my folks cash from wherever i am. so its cool. And my folks know of my plans since a long time back.

I am not a family person. I dont like attending family stuff. going to events and stuff.

Its more of an obligation. well it used to be last time. Nowadays i cant be bothered

in following them. i guess they know i am like this too. And its such a pity my folks

arent open-minded. then i can be myself at home instead of hiding everything about me.

its troublesome. VERY troublesome. There are times i truly HATE them. like from the bottom of my heart. enough to make me want to kill them. However things have changed rather drastically. they are finally begining to cut me some slack. So things now are not as tense as they used to be. I'm glad for that. Its time they give me some freedom.

Although i seem to know alot of people and always in the center of attention. I'm not.

I have only a handful of friends. But those friends are treasured beyond anything. The rest are merely acquaintances. Its just knowing someone to pass your time. so that you have something to do in-between classes. Friendship is something of value to me. not every tom dick and harry is my friend. I have to feel comfortable. relaxed to talk what is in my mind without worrying what you think. if i'm not at ease at doing that with you. then forget it.

needless to say 90% of the people i know arent my friends. it might seem cruel to you if you know me. But i'm sorry. I dont divulge. unless you are worth it ya know. i have huge iron walls.

i dont talk. you arent allowed to enter. simple as that. no use complaining because my rules arent going to change. my head is my only secure place. and i like it to stay that way. i dont want you to sympathise nor empathise me. i'm not looking for your pity or your company. i'm just another solitary territorial creature and i prefer it that way :D

I like being unreadable to others.

I like being a mystery to others.

its not fun when every move you make can be predicted.

I'm not a nice person.

I'm not trustable.

I'm am me. Haris Stickman ",

self-indulgence

2010-08-19T10:28:00.002+08:00

after sahur (starting of the fast)

i went to sleep before it was prayer time.

i kept dreaming about blogging about myself.

lets do it yo !

some may be frighteningly weird.

but this is me. unplugged. un-cut. un-censored.

i love reading books. but my favorite genre is romance.

haha. i know its silly to the point of funny.

but i find it really interesting to read. you can laugh along.

really dive into the book. if you guys know what i mean.

same goes for movie or anime genre. i'm not much of an

action guy.

as the famous quote goes " I'm a lover not a fighter"

but alas, i'm not a lover. I just like romance movies or more preferred

romantic-comedys. gotta love those type of movies

and those kind of inspiring movies. like the pursuit of happiness

so if you stereotype people like me who have this kinda taste

then i would be expected to be an emotional crackpot. (:

but thats not the case for me. i dont even tear let alone cry.

no matter how sad it gets. just another weird fact about me (:

i honestly can swear that the last time i cried was when i was

beaten by my parents during primary school. i have never cried

because i was sad/heartbroken blah3. and this fact actually bothers me. ALOT.

i am a quiet person. many people dont admit to this statement. cant blame them.

but this is the face. my close friends will agree to the statement. so if you dont ,

hello acquaintance :D

i'm fcuking sociable in a big group. thats my forte. a big group.

because there is so many people around.

when you got nothing more to say to one person, you go to another person.

simple as pie. but when it comes to a small group like say 3 people.

then you can see how quiet i am (: because naturally i'm a listener.

I'd rather input then output. although most of the time i'm not even present.

mentally that is. i zone out so much and so frequently. love stone-ing.

its like an out of body experience. you arent there. but you are there.

i think you guys must be confused already (:

stone-ing and emo-ing is 2 opposites.

stone-ing is just thinking. emo-ing is wallowing in sadness

you can go out with me and expect me to say only a few words here and there.

it might be akward silence for you. but its not akward at all to me.

i like to talk at my own pace. and i like to have my own space.

chey it rhymes (:

i think about dying all the time. i'll be on a bus going somewhere and inside my head

i'll be imagining the worst possible way for the bus to crash and for me to die.

i like thinking of death. its interesting. and the circumstances leading up to it.

i look forward to dying. but i am not suicidal. thats a huge difference.

i think its downright stupid to end your life. but the sadistic thoughts i enjoy in my head (:

thats why i love final destination. all those gore shows. zombies. its orgasmic!!!

another very surprising fact. i have a very2 short temper. its extremely short.

i can explode very easily. so to shelter my temper from wrecking havoc , i have

an unbelievably high patience level/control level. its a learned trait.

i dont want to be the guy who cant control his own temper. i find those guys a shame.

if you lose your temper at every small thing. doesnt say much about you.

just another guy who lacks self-control in my opinion. it took a long time to control my temper.

but here i am successful in it. but i wouldnt dare you to test my patience level.

as they say. the scariest guys are the calm ones. it is said for a reason (:

i love piercings and tattoos and weird hair.

as long as i remember. those thick eyeliner, jet black hair, punk hairsyles

have always been a turn on for me. girls are oh so sexay with them.

its just my orientation. i like weird girls. girls with an attitude are awesome.

but not your plastic bimbo girls because they have an intellect of a turkey.

which is if you didn't know the worlds stupidest animal. the last time i checked that is.

to end it off. i might write a sequel to this. since theres much more to say.

but i'm too lazy to type now. i like to fabricate things up. so its up to you

to believe this posts. as i always say. rule 1. dont trust me ",

fun weekend

2010-08-16T11:29:00.003+08:00

salvation came in the form of HS day last friday.
the whole week i was zombie-ing around the house.
its very boring when you are fasting. not much energy to do anything.

anyway went to school. met up with the rest. then went to convention centre.
and met with even more people. i swear the bk barat was fcuking irritating and boring.
and the plus size dancer so called started off the good performances.
julie's band sucked but hey they performed for the graduating batch which is us.
so it was a nice thing.
the winner of HS day was fcuking talented. she sang parachute
and now its stuck to my head. very nicely sung.
then went to breakfast at al-ameen. i swear Diana was possesed.
she went on and on and on and on. Rachel was like " omg somebody just kill her or me "
oh yeah i forgot to say i broke fast with ji sum soo.
thats like the sex cigg if its not lao hong (:

33mg tar and 2.4 nicotine.
wooohooo.
then we played pool and went home.

the following day was eve more fun.
had my prac bbq at the loft. i only arrived at 6pm i think.
thank god my dad dropped me. it not i would have considered not going.

we brought all the stuff down to the bbq pit. and miss angela was like
check out the clouds its going to rain. we were hoping it wont but bummer it rained.
so carry all the stuff run back to the loft. then raefath and jol bf
decided to just bbq at the kitchen itself. it was so smoky and the floor was getting sooty.

time for breakfast. so drink lemonade and took a puff first (:
then ate spaghetti. spagetti sauce is supposed to be red right?
but sha made the sauce and it was brown colour. i was calling it curry all the while
seriously look like curry but taste like the sauce all right.

the rain had stopped so i brought charcoal down and went to start fire at the pit.
then afterafew mins the 2 blokes came and added in the hot coals from
their kitchen bbqing. and we had a proper bbq at the pit.

surprised jol with her birthday cake. she actually turned and saw us
while we were sneaking up on her. but i just realized this morning then she didnt
think it was a cake. she thought we were holding candles to light our way because it was dark.

AWESOME interpreting skills right ? my classmates.

then me dom and raefath tried to play soccer. tried is the word. it was so freaking dark.
and to top it off the ball was black in colour. what the heck. we should have given up.
but no. we rised above our difficulties and dragged the goalpost near the light.
we thought we had overcome the light deprived environment but crap.
still too dark to play. damnnit :D

challenged the chubby bunny game with miss angela. its a simple game to play.
with every marshmallow you put in your mouth. say chubby bunny. cant swallow the marshmallow. thats it. miss angela gave up at 11. i went until 14. (i have a big mouth) (:
but had to spit everything out. no place to chew and swallow anymore.

dom and raefath had fun playing with the hose. we chased after a rat. tried to spray at it with the hose. raefath filled a dustbin up with water. haha. it was fun.

went back to the loft. dom and angeline left. drank 2 cups of henesys. i know its fasting month.
but i never tried henesys before. it wasnt that nice. should have drank more. but what the heck.

ghost story sharing session. then divert to eating animals a tad on religion. to cockroaches.
to interesting hospital facts. then back to ghost story.

miss angela and her hubby retired for the night. Lynette went to do jol nails

so left me raefath sha and nafisah.
that was whn i realised sha can talk. she went on and on and on and on.
and was disturbing raefath who just wanted to sleep.
in the end he just covered her mouth with his hand. she still managed to talk.
me and nafisah were having crams from laughing.
those 2 are fcuking funny and cute the way they behave. both also childish.

eventually they also K.O-ed. oh yeah lynette did jol nails for 2hrs then they both slept.
me and nafisah were like what to do now. since both cant sleep.
she taught me how to play stress. loser will get drawn in the face with markers.
obviously i lost pretty bad. then we change game to taiti. obviously i won pretty well.
in the end we looked fcuking funny.

and so we went to tidy up everything. then sha wokeup.
immediately started all her nonscense from the night before. LOL. fcuking funny.
after raefath was fully awake he started his nonscence.
what a compatible couple. seriously (:

then we talked about movies and books while waiting to check out.
then all left together. go to the main road. some cab some bus.
rushed home after i got off the buss. there was an emergency. open the door.
throw all my stuff on the floor took a left turn. open another door. closed that door.

and took a much needed shit (:

poly life is officially over

2010-08-08T12:29:00.002+08:00

yes my 3years have come to an end.
well not technically cause there is still the final exams.
and we are due in school for 2weeks during project "P"
then having nafa test during that period also.

but thats just a trial for prcp in school.
all the fun in classrooms skipping lectures. poker cards.
smoking.drinking. creating havoc. disturbing people.
all that time is now stuffed into a box and sealed with a pretty ribbon.
those times will never come back. but i'm happy with how i lived my poly life.
thanks for the memories (:

Captain Ball semi's and finals took place on friday.
The ref/ organizer pulled some strings under the table
so that the finals will be my team against hafiz team.
Its our final year afterall. and besides most people agreed
that the finals between the yr3s would be more entertaining to watch anyway.
Its not so big a crime. we just told ref that we wanted to meet in finals.
but we won all our opposition fair and square.
However hafiz team was too high a hurdle to cross and we lost to them 15-8.
my specs broke and emily tore my bintan made beads. kinda sadded on that.

and when we were asked to choose a team name. i gave the idea of "the champions"
imagine. when the MC announces the captain ball tournament results.
"AND THE CHAMPIONS WON SECOND PLACE!!!" its going to be epic :D
so tired,sweaty, and partially blind.
we washed up then me aqilah diana, Jz went to bukit timah plaza.
we met aslam at np busstop when we returned. waited fro lloyd and char to join us.
and we were off.

Rachelena had organised a bbq to start off the 3weeks holidays at changi beach.
when we arrived at Changi Village saw raymun and his wife waiting for us.
Long time since i chatted with that uncle. so we were catching up on times.
had so much of fun and laughter and the bbq. it was well enjoyed. there was
some problem that was on-going. but i seriously couldnt be bothered about it.
i came to have fun and i had fun.

Anyway we went o OCH. and found all the entries barricaded. such a waste man.
but the pontianks or whatever it was seemed to sense our disappointment.
They went out of their way to give us a performance here and there. It was eventful.
the best part was in the morning. packup. washup. we took the bus to tampiness.
went to KFC to eat breakfast. Decided to bathe at tampiness sports complex. the beach grounds were too filthy to bathe. we were like backpackers litterally. finding for places to bathe.
and passing soap shampoo and facial foam like nobody business.
I'll be like shampoo here. and one of us will pass me the shampoo.
stuffed, cleaned, and it was 10.30am !!!!!!!!!!!

we rushed to catch SALT the movie. and i somehow stayed awake.
everyone was like struggling to stay awake. but the movie was to awesome to be slept away.
reached home around 3. wanted to go sheesha with my classmates. i was too tired so i thought of taking a power nap untill 3.30 then leave for sheesha. woke up at 5plus instead. too tired to change and go. went back to sleep again.

Sorry classmates. i was too shagged if not i would have come. and with that. i 'll wrap up this post as well. oh yeah !!

happy national day (:

updates

2010-07-30T18:35:00.002+08:00

time to update. noones reading though. but what the heck.
well there was my "school trip" to bintan
which was orgasmic at the very least.
then there were the world cup stay overs at ganesan house
followed by p17 class bbq at the loft which i was invited to attend
plus weekly thursday and saturday soccer fun
this sums up my drinking enjoying smoking lifestyle for a month

my obsession for books has returned. after i finish a book. i return and loan another one.
i have to keep on reading. i want to keep on reading. the wild mental rides the vivid images in your head. only books can stir up a disneyland or dooms day in your head. and books are addictive much.
i think this month alone i've finished around 20plus books. just read and read and read.
time flies when you read. so i'm not that bored these days. but there are still times of utter boredom i guess.

my tertiary life is ending right before my eyes. i'll be thrown into every nursing students hell. which is the final attachment and after that afew weeks/months of bliss then NS. which i'm in fact very much looking forward too. after that i will have to face harsh reality already. no mans an island as the saying goes. but i have to be my own island. my choices will be my own and my path will be mine as well. i will have to carve my way towards success.

i wish to be just like a salmon. go out explore, face reality and live life a day at a time then maybe come back to singapore. if i feel like it. The worlds a playground but i feel my home ground has not much for me. in my opinion that is. If we are still entitled to an opinion.

as for the opp sex. i'm genuinely not interested. not even on a 0.0000001 scale. sure when my friends spot a hot girl even i turn to look. but it stays at that. just a glance and back to whatever i was doing. Some guys think that girls are everything. without them life is boring, is lonely. that you are expected to be sad since you are single. i beg to differ though. true there are some lonely times. but its fun being single. Dont go chasing girls just because you are too afraid to be single. go with the flow people.

with that i end off. with the promise to update my blog constantly. a promise to myself (:

Poly Review

2010-06-08T19:35:00.002+08:00

Since my poly life is going to be over in just a little over 2months i shall do a summary of my poly life. a short one. just moments i can remember. and its been eons since i last updated anyway. aite here it goes.

1st day of school. was a NSL prac class. i remember i was late. i entered the class and all were sitting down in a semi circle. i was kinda surprised to see an old lady standing there. Ms. Yeoh Bee Choon. I was wearing scrappy attire. cut me some slack aite. year 1. Amanda was sitting beside me. And she was the 1st friend i made in nursing. HAHA. we were making fun of something. cant really remember. The first surprise my teacher gave me. No long hair allowed in nursing. CCB. Thats the only reason i came into poly. To have dreadlocks. a huge blow to me. like seriously. We had a 2 hr break after that. Everyone split up after that. I was left all alone :( i simply followed radziah and vert to emart. Vert suggested that we have lunch together. I was all game when suddenly he changed his mind and wanted to eat with his friends bastard. Radziah disappeared in thin-air. All alone in a new environment i started reading book at emart alone. Then i texted afiq. wanted to kill time with him. while waiting for his reply. I saw dada at emart.
Talked to her awhile and went off to meet afiq. after slacking with him, i got lost as i had aap lecture at block 50. I asked some passerby for directions like a total noobie that i was. Saw lynette and amanda sitting down at one of the tables and went to join them. Thats when i became friends with lynette. Shes still in my class till today. and we went to lecture.
Thats pretty much my first day of school. Boring right. i was a loner!!!!!!!! LOL (:

And so the first week went by. Me lynette and amanda were usually in the same group and we hung out alot during breaks and after school. sometimes rauf will join us. Then there was this one lecture. A malay boy was passing a note down the row. It reached me and i looked at him. He gestured me to pass it to amanda who was sitting beside me. We both looked at the note. It said something cheezy but it was obvious the malay guy liked amanda. When lesson ended and we were going down the malay guy came to me. Emo hair with one lip piercing. quite tall. Handsome as well. He thanked me for passing the note and asked me if i was close friends with amanda. After exchanging our names i got to know he was Kendrik. actually a chinese. not a malay (:
Ken started hanging out with us from time to time. Because of amanda. Me and ken got closer as well. oh yeah. and vert and i got closer also. same class and by that time i started disturbing him. Became the class clown by then also.

Lloyd was in my tutorial class. But i didnt speak to him. Vert was the ice-breaker. He remembered seeing lloyd in his church and talked to him. Then i extra go join the conversation also. This was during our MIC lab session. We were having a break. I found out that lloyd also liked amanda. And this dude was an almost look alike to kendrik. Long emo hair. not so tall. but got tattoo. handsome also (:

I was in the middle. Both sides were angry at each other because both claimed that the other is trying to get his girl. In the end both became good friends after Tioman trip. Through rauf and soccer i got to know the malays. Badrun hacif izzat fat khai. Then in a later run Dev came into the picture. through soccer also. i frankly dont remember any incident that links to dev joining us. Just that we didnt like him and his class last time. haha!! oh yeah. Helmi joined us with dev also.

In year 2 , the tutorial class changed and instead of lloyd prac and my prac. nizam prac joined us instead. We hated them at first. They are so damn freaking noisy. It pissed us off. But i envied their class. There was unity there. My class was missing that. However they still pissed the crap out of me due to their noise level. Dom joined my prac class in year 2. Forgot to mention about dom. He was from rauf's class. i met him on the first day outside the aap lecture. He joined us through soccer also. Back to the reflection.

Dom and Vert both liked jiewan so they started mixing with nizam's group. i being extra joined in with them. And actually attended aqilah surprise birthday celebration at the atrium. After that we kinda merged in with their clique. and we became close. well this is more for me and less for dom and vert. I slacked with them more in library and brought in badrun into their clique. and they went to jb trips. i couldnt join because of curfew.

Then came HS day where we had shitloads of fun. year 2 HS day. Year 1 was still the bomb. We took laughing gas inside and were laughing hysterically. After that we went out to hit. I invited some of my own clique lloyd all and together with nizam all we went to al-ameen to eat dinner. It was a memorable day.

And through the chalet, both cliques kinda merged and i am now a proud member of 1 big HS family. There are still so many names that arent mention. John's clique. Khai's clique etc. i crashed in with everyone. and there were afew people who joined us temporarily. Gf's of one of us. blah3..

And through bonding camp and FOC I became friends with the juniors and closer friends with dev gilah nizam all.

and here ends my reflection of my nursing friends and acquaintances (:

sick tired frustrated

2010-05-23T12:13:00.002+08:00

very frustrated with my life as it is.
there no goal. nothing to work towards to achieve.
everyday is the same old routine.

emart emart emart emart.

God i'm getting sick just thinking about the place.
but it seems to be the only chillax spot. and everyone is there.
and its downright boring then i pretend to sleep most of the time.
i dont want to drown myself in the meaningless chatter.
girls girls girls. everything also talk about girls.
girls. boobs. legs. asses. face.
every passing girl has to be observed and then rated upon
disgusting, not bad,fugly,cute,hot,pretty.

noone says beautiful anymore. its like the word became cliche
and this daily rating of girls is downright stupid. what do you get
in the end? nothing. unless you get her number talk to her become friends.
that will substantially increase your friends quantity by 1. but its downright
troublesome.

I dont know what i'm doing wasting my life at emart. i dont know why i even go there.
is to meet other goal-less souls like me. if that is my intention i do it everyday.
so thers no real point in going there.

Maybe everything is just normal. Maybe there really is something from checking girls out.
Maybe i'm just spiteful. A little uptight a little wound up. I feel like i'm ageing beyond my years.
and my exterior shell. this face and body i wear is just a tool to mingle with the younger crowd.
so much for a tool. i'm sick of where i am. i'm sick of who i am. i'm sick of what i am.

If only i can leave everything as i know, as of now, as it is, behind.
i dont mind. i doubt i'll miss anyone that much. i adapt quickly enough.
i just want to move away. get away. dissapear

The.Great.Escape.

ramblings

2010-05-15T18:27:00.002+08:00

i'm in love with this song
you are the only exception.
by paramore

the lyrics make so much sense
and the beat is so soothing
and haleys voice has a nice texture for this song

i'm like totally into the lyrics now
and they are the actual verbalization on how i'm leaving my life
but however theres one little change.
"There is no more exceptions"
now that seems more like it.

theres so much fuss about cliques and groups
and changing yourself to fit into the group
why compromise yourself to fit in
i'd rather be myself and mingle around among groups
not being tied down

and i hate people who question me , my life , religion
or who think they are so above me and tell me what i should do
WHO THE FCUK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
dont question me, you arent my parent. just a peer.
so take a piss at your own shadow.
SHOO

i've been meeting alot of people who are money obsessed.
true money is important. but is it worth killing fun over ?
to work like a dog just to show off with godly toys ?
i think its immature. for me at least money isnt that important

and i love piercings. and the emo thing. dont ask me why
i'm just wired that way. i like the metal in me. i love the feel of them.
i'll really miss them if i remove them permanently. If you dont like them so be it
dont boss around asking me to remove them. afterall its my face.
if i look hideous with them, too bad. i aint trying to woo you.
so buzz off.

people have been going a lil crazy over the opp sex. hooking up, giving numbers and checking people out. Maybe its the so called season. idk. not bothered.
i've gone back to how i was. not bothered with girls, not checking them out.
they dont seem to interest nor attract me. so why bother.
i doubt i appeal to any girl anyway :D
i'm comfortable to being alone again. its safer.

i can feel the wheels of time going back for me. i'm going back to being quiet and low profile again.
its quite nice to quieten down and just go back to my observing role. nothings going to be earned by being the loudest and making everyone laugh. sometimes its good to go unannounced

just rambling on a small portion of the book in my head. i prefer writing on a paper. but i'd like to see this page in a few years time. that would bring a smile to my face. and i'm gone

2010-05-11T09:47:00.001+08:00

i'm getting more and more sleepy
true i love my sleep. but not to this extend.
i must blame the singapore weather for this.

sometimes i wonder to myself.
wtf am i doing. its a puzzle

blanket

2010-05-05T21:10:00.002+08:00

remember the question you asked me yesterday.
i took my time thinking about it.
and i'm certain of the answer.

theres only once in your life,
when you will indulge in an emotion so strong and true.
the after episodes that will come later in your life are merely ghosts

They can never manage to capture that crazy feeling
its never that same fireworks. it cant be matched.
to chase that feeling and encase myself in it for as long as it lasts
is what i've always wanted.

i cant be bothered with merely ghosts of that experience.
its a waste of time and its futile.

this is what i believe in.

years distance whatever the separating factor.
i couldnt care less.
because the answer will always be a yes.

emptyness

2010-05-03T20:24:00.000+08:00

its all falling back in place
time is being rewinded
i'm growing younger
those thoughts are back

and i'm stuck in my own head.period.

2010-04-26T20:30:00.002+08:00

you are a stranger when once you were everything
you are silent when once it was your voice all day
you are just another person when once you were the person

sometimes i wish and wish and wish.
but wishes upon a star never come true.
and i have lose all hope and faith.
i find nothing attractive
when i'm filled with beautiful things.
its just another in out day
but its not a routine. its fun every single time.
i've grown used to being this way.
and this way i will stay.

when once i preached the pureness of the word
i dont believe in it anymore. its just another emotion.
it hits you, drives you, peaks and just ends.
in the end everything is left hanging and theres no real goodbyes
the closure is never found though the search never ends.

why go through all that drama when in the end
all things come to an end

write

2010-04-26T20:04:00.002+08:00

just figured out i love to write.
i want to write a story. but i'm not mature enough.
my stories tend to lack substance and the pull needed to entice readers
but i found out i've a knack for short scenarios. everyday happenings
that i can bring to life to a certain extend. its not perfect.
but i'm happy with my work.

i'm really glad i went for FOC
getting to know the year 2s was fun
and i enjoy their company. fun bunch of rascals.
just like i was in year 2. sadly i'm even more fun now.
more crapping around (:

FOC memories are memorable. certain explicit events.
and it was away from home. thats the most important thing.
when i came back home, i was like fcuk. i didnt want to be here.
seriously. i just dont like to be home. i only like going home when theres noone around here

done-ded

2010-04-10T17:18:00.002+08:00

its been a crazy week.
a mad rush to complete my skills
and do my case study.
not mad rush actually.
but since i was so last min it was a rush.

Wednesday morning was just insane. I cant believe you pranked me.
saying you are pregnant. Thats just awesome. i'll give you credit for that.

another unexpected surprise came in the same morning.
That was even more insane. It was fun. Its been eons (:

and attachment has finally come to an end.
I cant believe i had so much fun in attachment.
The best staff i ever worked with honestly.
They are so helpful and go out of their way to teach us.
i was kinda sad that attachment has come to an end.
i wouldnt mind working longer. honestly.

next week is camp. heaps of fun.
only one day stands between me and that.

i wish we can talk again. its fun to talk after eons (:

wants

2010-04-04T18:50:00.004+08:00

list of things from a normal 19year old point of view

1. living alone
2. seeing your parents once a month only. or once every few months.
3. have an infinite play list
4. travel to nature spots. and camp there
5. write my own book
6. a huge stash of fags
7. try most of the extreme sports
8. catch the sunrise or sunset from the top of a mountain
9. get the hell out of singapore
10. Visit your friends once in awhile
11. work in unique jobs in different countries
12. telling your exploits to a captivated audience
13. a scrambler
14. trek through a rainforest
15. Teach english in japan
16. be fluent in 3 foreign language
17. go to a museum with a friend and enjoy every single min
18. go to a gig
19.take tons of Polaroid pics with captions written underneath
20. Laugh at every little insignificant thing in your life when reminiscing
21. keep in contact with the hermanos lifelong
22. come back to singapore after a long period of MIA

so so so.
some faggot of mine, arvin
actually taught the in a different world 1st post was factual
how he came to that particular conclusion slips by me
its definitely not what i would do
or maybe it is. not too sure.

april fools day joke was on myself
didnt know it was april fools until it was 7.30pm that day
( clueless me )

as much as i complain. i enjoy nursing. through and through :D

in a different world 2

2010-03-24T09:16:00.002+08:00

you are walking towards the airport
but in a different country. the years have flew by.
and true to your dreams you have moved out of singapore
at the time Britain inspired you and you wanted to carve your life from there
it has been 3 years and you dont regret the decision you made to come here.
But its time you decide to explore other countries.
That was a few months go

You feel that someone is watching you as you sit there at the waiting hall
but its not a pair of cold eyes drilling into you. These eyes feel familiar and theres a sense of deja vu along with it.You turn around discreetly not wanting to startle her and somewhere in that mid-turn your eyes locate her. But you dont just stop at gawk at her, oh no. Those days were a thing of the past. In the short timeframe you memorized her features. and you played them in your head. Theres definitely something familiar about her.
You walk over to her and she smiles politely at her.
"Hello I'm Haris" , you say
Her smile widens as she cocks her head slightly to the left and she winks.
" I know"
Then it hits you. It has to be her. After all these years, who would have thought she was in Britain.
"OMG! its you! How in the bloody moon did you recognize me ?"
"Well you certainly have more metal in you then when i last saw you and you look totally different, but you still give off the same feeling to me and there are a few habits of yours that helped me to identify.

"Hmm! well lets chat and catch up just like we did on the old times shall we"

in a different world

2010-03-22T19:43:00.002+08:00

you find yourself in a strange place
its a mixture of your computer lab from primary school, the staff room and a ward
its a regular 8 bedder cubicle with 4 rows of office tables
the long ones. it looks quite similar to the palm island of dubai
you are thinking to yourself what a weird cubicle.
the nurses are all sitting down behind the tables and using computer
you recognize facebook and tagged in their screens
while you are busy observing everything
your CI comes up to you and says
its time to go home

you pack up and somehow exit that place
how you knew the way? ; you didnt know
some long forgotton instinct guided you out
you check your handphone and you have a text from her
"dont forget we are meeting up today. i got loads to tell you"
she tells you all her interesting details on what has happened.
its suppossed to be a catch-up meet with her
you take long drags on your fag. enjoying the thick smoke as it fills your lungs up.
and you lazily open you mouth as the smoke collects in that cavity
with practiced ease you pop out a couple of smoke rings
and you smile at your own creation.
the rest of the smoke you exhale in a fine stream

to the unpractised eye it looks like a one way convo
its like shes yapping away and you have that "i cant be bothered attitude"
but she knows that you are actually paying close attention to her
thats the reason she tells you all the going ons.
you observe the way her lips form the words and how her eyes seem excited
shes pretty (:
you kiss her.

her hand snakes up behind your head and her fingers weave into your hair
you are definitely surprised. In place of an expected resistance and a strict telling off.
you are granted her soft lips and warm mouth. indulge your mind says.
and you do just that.

The kiss ends afew minutes later. you look into her eyes.
you see a radiance there as well as on her face. you smile shyly and say that you have to go.
she nods her head and smiles back while pointing to her hp.
"call me" - a silent gesture

You smile to yourself as you leave the place. Now that was surely something.
opening up your handphone you text another girl. "can we meet"
"for a while" comes the quick reply.
you head on down to her place. at the void deck. you enjoy the wind and gaze at the cars going by.
she waves. looking as beautiful as ever. your resolve wavers. You hug her tightly as you smell her hair and she squeezes back. there is a ghost of your smile on your face. but she'll never see it.
you pull back and gaze at her. Like you always have, like you always want to. you smile as you caress her cheek and her lips. cupping her face in your hands you look straight in her eye. falling into those wonderful depths. you kiss her lightly on her forehead and you step back. you smile yet again but the sadness surfaces. it will not be held down.

and you turn and walk away.

damn

2010-03-14T15:54:00.002+08:00

no no no no no no
i shouldnt have done it
damn! why couldnt i control myself.
why why why
oh no. should not give in to impulse
GRRRR ZZZZZ
get yourself back together haris
SHEESH

a walk down the indian side

2010-03-13T19:29:00.004+08:00

before i fell asleep yesterday
i texted them that i wont be joining them for the movie
obviously i wont enjoy it and i'll be wasting my cash on it
its 10 bucks man.

i woke up at 10.30am
wanted to finish watching agnus, thongs and the perfect snogging
but got a shock when i saw my sister at home.
seems she doesnt have work today.
damn it. asked them to but a ticket for me
and rushed to the toilet to bathe change
and i shot out of the house 15mins later

Looking good after 15mins of getting ready
:D
it seems that the movie starts at 2.20
and we were all assembled at yishun at 11.30.
bloody early.
kishaan said theres a 12pm show at the REX theatre
so we cabbed down
stuck in a jam on the way there.
once the cab stopped, we practically ran to get the tickets.

i think its about time i should say that its a tamil movie
me and tamil movies are worlds apart.
the last one i saw in the theaters was when i was in sec 3
so yeah.
anyway i have no idea how to spell the title
so i'll translate
"will you cross the skies for me ?"
i think its that. not too sure.
i went in expecting to sleep halfway through

boy was i wrong
i was glued to the story line.
movie was fcuking amazing and we fell for
every single twist the director threw at us
Damn. that That is what i call a good movie.
it wasnt a happy ending. but it was the perfect ending.
simply because it was realistic. That is what you'd get in life.

after that we went to a Indian vegetarian restaurant
dont ask me why we went there. but we did.
laughed our ass out. screaming here and there.
we created quite a scene.

but throughout we were making fun of the fake meat
its FAKE MEAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i was bloody unhappy, but hey it was our fault for going vege
it was a great day

I HATE FAKE MEAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-03-06T12:41:00.000+08:00

at least one of us is happy now
even though we started this together
circumstances havent been that good to me i guess

reading your posts put a smile on my face
hope you stay happy (:

2010-03-05T12:16:00.000+08:00

i waited all along for your reply
worrying about you

got to say it

2010-03-03T10:50:00.001+08:00

i love you

2010-03-01T17:28:00.002+08:00

i should never have pushed so far
in the end what did i truly achieve ?
afew moments of over the top bliss
followed by months of coldness

so much for me and my immature thoughts
what was i playing at. convincing that love is worth chasing after
i sought to change your opinions. i guess i succeeded you could say
but now the tables have been turned on me. you were right from the start.
and i knew you were right from the start. but i was foolish you see
i wanted to test the waters. i wanted to see how well i could swim.
i made it quite far. but now i'm out of my league. way out.

remain friends ? thats is really utter bullshit.
things will become akward. thats for sure. its not you. its me. always have been.
i just cant see you as a friend. not that you arent qualified. you are over qualified.
i tried. i really tried. but its not working for me. i always slip up and the converstaions comes to a dead end.

all i wanted to ask was if we could meet up. but in the end i never got to ask that.
i want to hold you and look into your eyes. to smile at you and feel cozy.
to caress your face and smile to myself.

but it wont ever happen again.it never does. because you got down a long time ago.
and i keep missing my stop. i dont know what i'm doing. clueless.

i'll be on my own now.

2010-02-26T10:10:00.002+08:00

well my sleeping habits have become rather erratic
and i'm becoming a nocturnal creature.
it would suit me well if i am able to nap during the daytime instead
but somehow my body seems to have a mind on its own

and i'm wide awake after 2 hours of sleep.
which basically started at 4am and ended at 6am
i just re-read and finished one of the novels at home
its going to be a very long holiday for me
if this sleep deprivation continues

while i was trying my very best to sleep last night
believe me i tried. i statue-ed myself and chanted sleep
in my head for an hour with my eyes closed.
the next hour i changed position and counted sheeps
seems it only makes others sleepy but kept me wide awake
i went up to 2356 sheeps before i gave up.
Should be innovative like Mr bean. Get myself a painting of sheeps.
lots of them. just multiply the length and width of the frame.
hopefully the area which will be the answer will put me to sleep.
who am i trying to fool here.

anyways somewhere along the passage of time yesterday
in my eternal quest of finding blissful sleep
i remembered certain words that elude my better pronunciation
though its been years and i'm well aware of what is their right pronunciation,
i'm still found guilty of saying them wrongly. The famous words i call them.
I'm remembered for my unique way of saying these words.

BEHOLD THE FAMOUS WORDS

proper term ----> my way

Coca cola ----> COCO cola
Chili sauce ----> Chili CHOS
Authorized ----> A-THOR-rised
Deepavali ---> DEEPALI

and the ever famous word i can never spell
no matter how many time its been corrected and taught to me
sarcastic ---> scarstic, sarcarstic, scarastic

with that, till the next post
good day folks

2010-02-19T11:49:00.002+08:00

anyway i had a dream yesterday night
took me a long time to go to sleep
but thats not the issue here

I had completed my ns.
and I didnt want to stay at our folks place
and i didnt think i could afford to rent an apartment on my own
so i talked to the hermanos and afiq and aslam were up for it
we 3 wanted to leave our house badly.

so we went house hunting and found ourselves a good apartment
it wasnt very big or posh. but it was cozy. and it was ours,
as long as we paid our rent.

by then all 3 of us had our own bikes.
cool shit. Mine was a scrambler. god i love that bike.

and aslam was working and doing private uni
i was a staff nurse in some hospital and afiq was in NS
most of the times it was only me and aslam.
but we got to know each other so well during then

and at nights during the rare times when all our
schedules allowed us to be together,
we chilled, smoked, went out and partied.
yeah aslam included.
we were living our own lives not tied down by parents
it was orgasmic.

and time flew by fast. and my 2years of experience gaining came to an end
and the CPF had also been paid finished to my folks.
i immediately resigned and started to pack my stuff.
i was 24plus already. it was my dream age
the age i promised myself i'll leave singapore.

The last few days in singapore was fun.
we partied. met with old friends.
said my goodbyes to them

and the happiest day came.
departure day. with friends sending to the airport.
having a roaring good time while waiting for the flight.

as i sat on the plane
looking out of the window
i never felt so free in my life
and every step i take
will carve my future forever

but first i must go to that one location
surprise was due. and it was making me very nervous
How will the reaction be
when the door is opened,
and i'm standing at the doorstep ?

2010-02-19T11:43:00.002+08:00

my dreams are my stronghold
they are the safest place at night
well for most of the nights that is

its for a very simple reason
my dreams are all so childish
its filled with cartoon,movies,shows
all based on fiction
heck even got powerpuff debut from time to time

and i'm constantly thinking or daydreaming
if i'm looking at you intently
half the time i aint even looking at you
i'm looking beyond you
where my thoughts are manifesting

thats one this i like about myself
i can conjure up solid images in my head
with exact detail. its like you are really looking at the real person
but its just a memory

i like to play with this all the time
inventing scenarios in my head.
it keeps me entertained :D

2010-02-16T14:35:00.003+08:00

he was always mysterious to him
i knew him well at the same time i dont know him
his governed by his morals same as me

we are both irrational
we live in the heat of it all.
we dont plan anything
we sometimes plan
but we expect it to fail beautifully

we dont proceed in a straight line
if you scribble out a piece of paper making incoherent loops and circles
that will be the summary of our lives

but i'm smarter then him
that gives me an edge i suppose. he is all about emotion
while i rationalise but still follow emotion just as strongly

he is still undecided on how to proceed in this matter
but as the brainer one, i have already decided
i cant be shaken again and again
i'm not a rag doll.
he can be in that position for all he wants.
but no i dont want to be there.

If life is a game then i'll play it beautifully to my abilities
he can be stuck in the past while i move on into the future
if you have to be cold to save yourself do it
i can do that. he cant.

i shall carve this path for him.
in time i know he will.
his still caught up too deep in despair
i know. i can feel it.
after all i've known him for oh so long.

calm down buddy.
i'll pull you through this.
we have so much to achieve together
we will ....

thoughts

2010-02-10T21:04:00.002+08:00

i need a good nights sleep
i dont need any more nightmares
i need to rest my head
its been on overdrive lately

i've been wasting my days at emart
and aceing my re-tests and class test
i've been wasting my intelligence
i should have just done it well the first time

wouldnt it be great if i didnt know anyone for a few days
i'd love to be alone and chill at some corner puffing away
but i cant seem to be able to do that

"what you having ?"
"where you going?"
"why so far?"

questions tie me down
and i end up rotting at emart

cant wait for sat and sun to come
working at farmart
it would be just me and silence

hair

2010-02-09T17:10:00.002+08:00

so i was at home
watching anime and watching movie
simultaneously.
watch movie. pause. watch anime. pause. continue movie.pause
you get the flow.

and suddenly i didnt like my hair
i cut it botak like in last year november
and it grew to this
untidy/messy/neat kinda think
which actually suited my face.
amazing uh

anyway i wanted to do something drastic
like try out a new style that i've yet to cut my hair into
so yeah
the 1st thing that came into my mind was mohawk
but school would anal me if i shaved the sides.
so why not try a mohawk without shaving the sides

and thus i ended going to the saloon
not bad i should say
i like the way it feels now

eating habbits

2010-02-07T19:39:00.002+08:00

ok this post is for you out there
those people who think i dont eat
that i skip my meals and want to remain skinny
because i'm anorexic or smth

this is my meal menue for today
breakfast-burger @ 11.30

lunch- biryani @ 2.30
beef prosperity burger @ 4.30

dinner- 1 pkt meegoreng @ 6.50

and idk what crap all i ate in between every meal
and @ 7.43 which is now.
i'm hungry again.

will you guys belief now that i just have super high metabolism
and fcuk thyroid disorder. i dont have it.

sheesh.

:D

2010-02-06T15:16:00.002+08:00

i can see through it ya know
no matter how well you hide it
i can feel it

you arent that better off then me
so stop acting like you are

i wasnt so sure at the begining
but the more i think of it
the more examples i see

sometimes its good to show it
but who the hell am i kidding
i'm hiding the extend of this myself
just so you know
i know you are still caught up

bonding camp

2010-02-02T19:52:00.002+08:00

alright
camps over
we fcuking raised hell
had tons of fun
met tons of cool folks
got ourselves famous
smoked like no tomorrow
nearly had fights breaking out
played no laughing until we nearly died keeping it in
disturbed each other to no end
slept like pigs
enjoyed like kings in the loft

next up : FOC
hell is just around the corner freshmen (:

camp

2010-01-30T05:38:00.002+08:00

Currently staying at the loft
Its HS bonding camp.
a camp in which i'm the party crasher with nizam and dev
we've been raising hell so far
so totally awesome
and i get to stay away from home for 2nights

I've been thinking about you alot
and though we havent become as close yet
yet because i'll see through it that we are close again

i think of you all the time
almost everything sparks your memory
and i'm smiling as i sit and type this
you are still the most important person in my life
surely you'll say another girl in the future will be better than you
i dont know. maybe.
But what ever happens, i'll still cherish you
and the moments spent with you
i'll seal them safe in me.
for future referencing

How can i forget the only person i ever bothered to open up to
and the only person i'm crazy about
you'll know its you when you read this
hope it puts a smile on you
as this did for me

p.s. i love you babe (:

2010-01-27T21:08:00.002+08:00

i'm the product of your sexual activities
maybe it was accidental
i seriously cant be bothered

i'm your son. sadly.pathetically.
i'm born to you.
but i dont belong to you.
my conscience, morals and heck even my soul is mine.
it has haris written all over it.
you dictate my life. and you are the god of it.
In your eyes that is.
you dont have a bloody clue on what goes on

i'm nothing like you.
you dont walk in my shoes
dont claim to know me.
dont push your ideals on me
i'm haris not you.

the older i grow.
you shouldnt restrict me.
thats a very bad move dude.
checkmates on you.
it might take a few years.
but when its my turn to play the cards
its going to come down in one hell of a fashion.

so count your days mate
my time to play is just around the corner.
that is if you are still alive to see my game
its a pity that your days are numbered and you are growing older
but mine on the other hand has just begun sucker!

2010-01-23T07:36:00.002+08:00

so far this is the bloody routine of my life
wake up use com for a while go school
attend all the fcuking lesson than slack at emart(stoning)
around 6 plus everyone will be too damned sick of emart
and will start leaving for home. me included.

reach home, do the necessities, go youtube watch japanese shows
laugh my ass out then go to bed.
day in and day out. wtf right

FMF( fcuk my family-parents)
they are literally screwed up.
i'm 19 and my sis is 21.
they treat us like 12 and 14 ?
fighting back or defying is no use
because they'll simply kick me out of the house and disown me.
they are serious about that. they will literally severe all ties.
i'm just a tenant of this house to me. a freeloading tenant.
i dont have any ties to my parents. i hate seeing them and talking to them
cant wait to move out of this house and move out of singapore

i think i had enough with girls
its damn troublesome to chase
even though i got nothing to do
i dont want to make this my past time

and where did you go ? havent seen you in ages
just randomly meeting up and slacking would be nice once in awhile
or even just looking at you would be nice as well. Hope you are doing good.
i miss ya.

hangover

2010-01-17T11:54:00.002+08:00

so it was the 15th of jan
hs party day
finally.

we had it all planned out
drink alill. have fun at the party
then continue drinking again.

however i poured myself a lil too much
and ended up getting drunk
spent my night puking and sitting down
thankfully when i get drunk i dont talk
i just want to sit down and chill.
must thank my bitch,afiq for taking care of me
thanks dude. owe you one (:

crashed at lloyds house for the night
and went to school in the morning
no manners sia
have to go remedial class when having hangover
very grumpy.
my bloody head was killing me

spent my afternoon talking to you on msn
it was kind of nice. just like how it used to be
thank god i live far away (:

but what was nicer was the texts at night
they really put a smile on my face
its been quite some time since we even texted for that long
and as usual you falling asleep before me is normal now

yesterday was a good day even though my body was literally suffering 200%

10 jan 2010

2010-01-12T19:30:00.002+08:00

i was very grumpy from the moment i woke up
pissed off more like
i really didnt want this day to come
and damn
here it was
my god damn fcuking birthday

lied to my parents that friends asked me out
to ecp. but acually i was going there alone
planned for some time to celebrate this day by myself
some alone time ya know

so went there at noon and it was fcuking hot
rented a bike and went to a remote corner to ecp
where the beach nearly ends and its roadway to changi
sat at a nice shady spot on the bench
and was watching the waves crash ashore letting my mind wander
and obviously smoking tons and tons

than i decided to lie down and just enjoy nature
i closed my eyes and ended up waking 45mins later
power nap. due to the late night sleeps

than continued cycling and i braved myself
and texted aly if i could meet up with her
self treat ya know
my birthday afterall (:
well what ya know she was free

(travelled from ecp to woodlands)

and with my heart pounding frantically
i said hi to hanan and aly
and made some small talk.
didnt say anything just listened to them talk
my mind was elsewhere just like at ecp
left around 8 to meet the hermanos at the D

i knew they would do something so i purposely came late
give them time to prepare
i've just done too many surprising so i'm aware that somethings up

and they "surprised" me with a cake
eat smoke chat went back home

through the night
was texting aly
most of the time i'm the wise guy
but sometimes i behave really stupidly
even though i know the facts
i wont accept
childish and stubborn like a kid

and i like to close myself
its easier for me
but i miss the old times
so got to make the effort to restore that

continue walking . . .

2010-01-10T11:28:00.000+08:00

1 year older
haiz

2010-01-03T12:16:00.001+08:00

tomorrow is 4th of january
and i'm not talking about school

-period-

2010-01-01T17:12:00.002+08:00

after watching one of the best animes
according to me. i've decided to compile a list of my favourites
most of these animes fall under the genre of :highschool/romance/comedy/slice of life

this combination of genre is my favourite
as for those who think anime is childish
take a time off watch a good one
it will change your mind

clannad
myself yourself
chobits
love hina
school days
kimikiss pure rouge
hatsukoi limited
hellsing
the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya
rurouini kenshin ( samurai x)
vandread

i can only remember this much. but i will keep updating this list.
so when i grow up. i can rewatch them whenever i feel like it

(:

2010-01-01T11:55:00.002+08:00

2010
10 days to my birthday
i still havent decided what to do and where to go
damn!

attachments over
schools going to start
more projects
more homework

2010 is going to be a bitch year for me
seriously
2010 is only about 2 things
year 3 and start of PRCP

with that
lets just get on with the damn year

iris

2009-12-27T12:02:00.003+08:00

i love the song
and the video
and the lyrics

and damn i'm seriously bored
ROAR !!!!!!!!!!!
i'm thinking if i should spend the night out
after the countdown.
kicking back and drinking on new year seems
inviting. to start 2010 with a bottle in hand
now isnt that something lads.

oh ya. i'm turning 19 soon
and this is my wishlist for my 19th

Do not wish me
Do not buy me presents
Do not think of celebrating it

because i seriously want to treat it as a normal day
thanks

iris

2009-12-24T19:43:00.002+08:00

i made a promise to you
a long time ago
i wont be like the others
you wont hurt me
i wont disappear

last night
it all came back to me
last night
i realized something
last night
was a really long night

it was always inevitable
but i still got lucky
i changed the odds
i did the impossible
i let you in

the time spent was short
but it was still time

you'll always be my babe
you'll always be my love
you'll always be the one
who knows me

i'll stay
i'll be your friend
but most of all
i pray with all my heart
i'll be the reason for your smile

dont cry because its over
smile because it happened

For you i will alyssa (:

lifepaths

2009-12-18T19:32:00.002+08:00

so 2 weeks are down
left 2 more weeks to go
and this 2 more weeks
is going to be much more stressful

but nvm its just 2 weeks
and then life would be so much easier
or would it
seeing the amount of school work lined up
is such a serious turn off

and then year 3 would come
and during that the dreaded day would come

and after that its ns
and after that its work
another 2 years

and after that i'd disappear to most
but to some they'll always know where to find me
with that.
good night and good bye

distance apart

2009-12-12T18:59:00.003+08:00

i seriously hate it when its times like these
conflicting times

you are too busy. i am too free
and these past few days have been
as extraordinary as they are
happy days for me.

but i cant share it with you.
I swear these CTs are a bitch
seriously.

1 month is freaking long.
like seriously.
but what to do.
at least you'll be having fun
after you really mugged for 2 weeks

i wish you well for CTs
i wish you a safe trip
i wish you'd have more fun then you imagined (:
must be some level of fun eh ? ",

i have no idea when you'd be free
so its best i dont bother you for the time being
GOOD LUCK and as always GANBATE (:

bukit timah hike

2009-12-08T17:54:00.003+08:00

so i was utterly bored and dying at home
even chatting with aly
didnt seem to keep me entertained enough
and i needed a release asap

i have crazy moodswing
and excess energy doesnt help at all
staying too long at a place is very bad for me

so i decided to go for a hike
and asked those who are free
arvin didnt reply
and afiq had to go for work

so i waited until i stuffed myself with lunch
and geared myself up
nike style (:
top and shoes only.
decided to wear tights underneath shorts
as they are more comfortable

and i set off with my backpack
walked from my house to petir when afiq called.
so decided to wait for him for awhile
then when he came walked with him until dairy farm there

did i mention i had no idea how to go to bukit timah?
haha. yeah i was clueless but i still wanted to go there somehow
when i parted with that bugger i told him
if you dont hear from me call the police.
i might be dead somewhere in bukit timah hill.
LOL. hiking alone what. anything can happen.

so i saw this forested area
and tried to enter.
but alas no opening was found so i continued walking
and guess where i ended up.
at salvation army there. FAR SHIT.
there was an entrance to DAIRY FARM PARK
so i went there.
gazed at the map for a moment.
and found out it was connected to TIMAH

sucess babe! (:

so i took the cycling trail.
pathways are for pussies!
and i treked here and there up and down.
thought i was lost a couple of times
but somehow i was on the right route.

Monitor lizards of various sizes, cute squirrels, colourful butterflies
huge ass trees.
best part was it was damn empty and quiet.
no humans. just the way i like it.

after like 45mins on the cyclist trail
mind you the trail is super fun.
jump here and there.

i found myself at a carpark
LO and BEHOLD
on my left was BUKIT TIMAH NATURE RESERVE
took my first sip of the hike and quenched my thirst
lighted up 1 winston and enjoyed it.
after that went to the exbition centre which showed the animals
that used to and still roam there.

there used to be tigers in bukit timah hill
but the last one was shot down in 1930
bummer!

after that walked up this mega slope that is FCUKING steep
mine you. my calf was starting to burn
and i'm a long distance runner

and then took the staircase to heaven
huge staircase at that
and i'll let the pics do the talking

so there. i enjoyed another winston and had fun in the summit.
after that decided to take another trail back
and i didnt check the map this time.
accidentally took a loop and ended up in the summit again

but damn the loop
its freaking dangerous.
the only people i saw were the real deal hikers
they had this stick that they used to poke the ground for balance
the loop was that treacherous
and here i was jumping down the roots
if i slipped its a long way down folks.
because there are no railings.

by this time my legs were freaking weak
and i had enough for a day.
so i exited bukit timah from how i entered and walked to the road
saw a troop of monkeys grooming each other
ubber cute
they just looked at me and groomed at the same time.
when i hit the main road. i got a shock

i was freaking near AL-AZHAR there.
COURTS was infront of me.
DAMN.
lighted up another of those glorious winston
and took 67 home.

what can i say
a day well spent (:

will you stay ?

2009-12-04T09:02:00.002+08:00

i had a really weird/nice dream yesterday
its like sianned then sad than hope and then happiness
what a dream.

a 4 part drama in a single dream. Like the seasonal changes.

does it really look that cute to others? I'm not too sure
But the way she behaves really does look adorable to me
when shes not angry obviously. She like a bundle of joy that i dont wanna lose
and we are only real enough to ourselves. I cant be the guy with all the answers.
i gave up on that along time ago. everyone has to work it out by themselves.
but i can always be her listening ear. i'm very good at that.
she knows me the best. and it will stay that way even if she leave. I'm not letting anyone through. she'll be the only one who'll ever truly know me
Even if we are separated by people. i will always look at her.
because every time i look at her, my mind only asks me 1 question.
"who the fcuk is she ?!"

Shes just my type of girl. and shes exactly how i'd like girls to be.
and i'm seriously in love with her. And i happy enough she accepts me
and my crazy personality. my only wish is that i could have asked her sooner
so that i would have more time to spend.

"you know its true,everything i do, i do it for you (: "

i love you dear
happy 1st month

bored much

2009-12-02T17:41:00.003+08:00

well a morning paper
and nothing much done after that
just a 1hour gym session
and i'm back at home so early

lifes a bitch when this happens
and shes playing mind games with me
i hate it when that happens
but i love it at the same time
so intriguing.

i want to go to nature spots
or crash on a nice novel
anything to keep me occupied
thus this blog post

i'm in too deep
going back isnt even an option
but then again it never was.
the date is fast approaching
how time flies when you arent counting every single day
and another date is approaching as well
but when school reopens we'll meet again
just nice for another celebration for our union

they say we are young
and we dont see the truth in things
but sometimes when someone comes into you
they cant be replaced forever
because you'll be searching for that someone in everyone
treasure your teen years
because my friends.
they are the true golden years
fcuk what the oldies say
they are lying and they know it

stay young

farmart escapades

2009-11-28T17:51:00.002+08:00

With a tight schedule this week
i have happily cleared everything that need to be cleared
even though some were seriously overdue work
but still its done
thats the icing right there.

and yesterday night was spent working at farmart.
in my rush to leave the house i forgot to bring my cash
and even more importantly i forgot to bring the farmart TEE
but noone there cares as well. so i just called my dad and told him.
Hes like no problem.

watched flushed away. while waiting for ganesan to come.
and he came around 10 plus looking like a bull just out from a shower
turns out he cycled all the way there on a bike with no gears,faulty brakes
and a flat back tire.
amazing.

opened up the packed biryani rice from home
was laughing away and eating as we exchanged priceless jokes
then somehow we managed to tap into a wireless network
as he brought his lappy along and we watched you got served.

awesome dance movie. the moves are to die for.
sadly i have as much flexibility as a twig.
haiz (:

then it was time to call aly (:
best part of the whole night.
even though it just for an hour
its definitly not enough
but its still the best thing that happened last night

and her hp hanged again.
sadded.
me and gan went to our chillax spot and smoked a couple
then went back up to watch another movie ring of death.

after that it was 3 hours of sleep
and time to do miscellaneous stuff
and hitched a ride on ganesan's beat up bike.
my ass hurts. it was that bad.
took 975 back. slept at 9am-4pm.
and i'm still very2 sleepy.

next week is CT.
good luck to myself (:

escapades

weeksary

2009-11-18T06:47:00.002+08:00

so as i sit down here and wonder what to type
only one thing keeps popping in my mind.
today marks the 2nd week of out r's

ITS ONLY FCUKING THE 2ND WEEK

it feels like 1month plus.
and i've only known her for 9months.
but in these 9 months. its like we spent
years as friends. thats how easily we clicked
and how truly comfortable we are in each
others presence.

she is etched in my head. where she will stay even
in the ruins of the aftermath. and it surely will come to pass as each day
ticks away. soon it will be that much dreaded time.

but lets not dwell in unchangeable facts when theres
much happiness to dive into.
2012 was boring. BUT its the fact that is just our 2nd movie.
its seriously hilarious. known her for so long and only watch 2 movies.
my friends finally got to see her and she my friends
glad it went smoothly.

then spent some time with her
before it was time to go home.
wish had more time though (:

cheers to the korean drama that
has been the 9 months of chasing aly
and lots of affection to my favourite lady in the world.
The day you said yes, you started a beautiful thing (:

2009-11-15T10:21:00.002+08:00

well what can i say ?
schools a bitch and thats for sure
with a 1k word limit on a research paper
i'm starting to think that nursing is more fcuked up than before
but still i love that course because when everyone was against it
i begged to differ and i'm doing quite well.

and life with aly is just what i thought it would be
very different from the normal type of r's
but still every fun bit is still present.

and hamid birthday is coming up soon.
yesterday we met up after so long
and we chilled. share stories.
catch up on some stuff.
and as usual we smoked.

heard toms about paranormal activity and i wanna watch it asap.
even ganesan was disturbed for 1 week
that means the movie is really scary.
P.A. anyone ???

friday the 13th

2009-11-14T11:30:00.002+08:00

what do you do when girls affect you
and affect your friends
and they have no idea they are doing it

what do you do when someone is so hurt
and asking you questions
that arent really yours to answer

what do you do when people around you is suffeing
and you cant really do anything
but comfort the person without words

what do you do when you are like me
cant really express your emotions
and always having the same few expressions.

there is no awkward silence.
i wasnt even feeling anything
i was just anlayzing the situation
like a robot.
maybe thats what i am
a robot

because its just a failure to react
to comfort to help out.

i'm sorry i couldnt ease your pain

smitten by alyssa

2009-11-06T10:57:00.004+08:00

so today is officially the 2nd day
of being in a relationship with

ALYSSA MADJELISI !!!!!!!!!!

god knows how happy i've been
i dont think happy is the right word
more like cloud 9 ???
that seems more appropriate

and i still have yet to wrap the idea
that she is my beloved GF.
its like i'm dreaming ya know.

so many things have happened
and i never imagined
there'd be a happy beginning for me,us

and i'm smiling even as i type this
i'm screwed up :)
and this time round

i know it will last. =)

someone like you

2009-11-03T19:16:00.004+08:00

I actually did it.
9 months of waiting and i actually got the balls to do it.

what can i say.
i feel damn proud.
couldnt have done it any better.
it was perfect.
exactly the way i intended it to be

giving her a bouquet
reading a poem
( written by me )
i never knew i would actually take effort to do all this.
but shes special to me
and i wanted it to be special to her as well.

seeing the smile on her face was priceless.
its imprinted in my head.
and her reactions were a class act.
haha.
so what did she say ???
thats the question on your mind.
she said wait afew days.
i know you guys will be like damned.!

but for me its ok. i've actually waited for 9 months
afew days is nothing.

this happened in sunday on the 1st of novemember.
:)

but what happened yesterday and the wee hours of this morning are even better still.
when ever she says ahem* i'm over the moon. every darn single time.
and its hard for her to say it. but she still does. so its HEAVENLY feeling.

and i thought i was in love before. judging by what i've been feeling with her.
i hereby conclude what i felt before was not love.
its said love is a very powerful emotion.
now i understand the meaning of it.

i love you alyssa :D

2009-10-31T15:00:00.002+08:00

i hate being confused about my own thoughts
very irritating.
usually i have no trouble figuring out myself
but this past few days have been torturous

maybe i should leave the whole matter to rest
and not care about it
but i cant seem to help myself.

i want to lose control now
drink as much
smoke as much
go crazy.

but it wont help.
it never does.

i shouldn't have waited for this long

updates

2009-10-26T20:31:00.002+08:00

i'm back to school
back again. and 2.1 is darn stressful
i'm saying it but i aint feeling it yet
haha

so much has happened
and to that someone
i never meant to hurt you so much
i always thought i could treat you SO much better
but in the end i still made you cry
sorry
there just wasnt the "it" factor.
the ugly truth.

and to others;particularly 1.
you claim you trusted me. respected me.
i wonder how you saw me that highly in the first place
because you never knew me. not even once.
and thats the fact my friend.
any tom dick and harry can advice,empathize or sympathize.
its textbook answers. you dont have to be a perfect gentleman to do all that
and i never am i. and never will be.
i'm the scum of the earth. i swear. i just dont show because i'm too lazy to face the problems that will come if you guys knew the real me.
so do not be so let down by my actions.
i am who i am.

and to another person.
If only it hadnt taken you so long to realise it yourself
the months spent waiting for it was a long journey.
at least for me it was. But when you told me. the months turned into nothing.
and its an "out of this world feeling as they say" so cliche.
but its true. sometimes i wonder why i'm in neck deep.
but thats when i realise that i was submerged long ago.
and now that we are both in a very good position
i would like things to pick up from where it left off.
i wont tarry the matter much longer. and i think its my turn to have a shot.
the driver seat is yours to take.
will you buckle in and drive the car ?

2009-09-06T20:39:00.000+08:00

you know they say feelings come and go
and some just fades and doesn't return at all
i wonder which one is my situation in.

i was in that blissfull place for 6months
but i guess prolonged period of "not-meeting" does somethings to you
or maybe its just that i want to end it ???

i seriously dont like waiting.
but i did for her for 6months.
why ? i'm not too sure myself

and back to those days when i thought i could not stop wanting to contact her
i can now spent weeks without contacting
same goes for her facebook and blog

I'm a very withdrawn person
true i'm always in the centre of the crowd
spewing nonscence and making everyone laugh till they tear
but at the end of the day there are almost none that know me

because i have walls.
and its not easy at all to climb over them
heck its impossible unless i bring them down

so why am i disclosing this particular information about myself?
i have been pondering these in my head for quite some time.
its not that i take very long to like someone.
its more like it takes me that long to prepare myself
on wether i am willing to let the person in.
so far i have only met one. which is this 6months girl.
so have the feelings really faded ?
or is it just an excuse
because i'm afraid of letting her in the driver seat ?

the answer becomes clearer everyday.
but i'm still doing nothing about it.
if only i didnt have these walls......................

posted to IMH

2009-09-06T20:24:00.001+08:00

Its been eons since i last updated

and seeing other folk's blogs updated like tons of times
i thing its about time i did a little updating

so lets see
i think i shall start with my exams. that seems appropriate.
anyway i just had 3 papers but i'm really not too sure about it
i'm pretty confident for one
not too sure about another
and the third is an absolute failure

after that my time was spent watching lovely complex.
its an anime show thats very touching.
romance,comedy,school life with a slice of reality
wonderful anime! really loved it

than attachment began. and i was late on my first day as usual
its like a cures or something. I am never early on my first day
anyway this time around we were posted to IMH
like everyone else i had a preconceived idea on how it would be
and the stigma that all the patients had lost their sense of reality

but it was an eye-opener than many of them are actually quite sane
its just that they were unlucky and were handed a bitter card that changed their lives.
I'm totally enjoying my time in IMH and i will seriously miss that place when
my last week ends. which starts tomorrow.

2009-09-06T20:22:00.000+08:00

this is what i have been doing these past few days
amazing talents. and the two female judges are gorgeous

racial harmony day

2009-07-22T07:42:00.000+08:00

and if it was ever fun in celebrating racial harmony day inn secondary school
nothing can beat poly's version of it. Its like upscale by 10 or something
My bag was already bloated with 4 baju kurong tops when i was heading to school
changed after the first lesson and passed the rest of the other tops to my chinese
and indo counterparts.

oh ya forgot to mention.
In the bus to school.
i saw the gorgeously hot chinese
wearing a black saree. BEYOND WOW !
very striking on her.

anyway go to the lecture stone here and there
than it was time for NSL !!!
WEEEEE.
the photo taking mayhem began
all the photos are in facebook.
we took photos for the better part of an hour
than the teacher surprised us by saying she is ordering pizzahut
we were like WOW ! thanks uh ..
thats when she dropped another bomb.
"will 8 boxes be enough ?"
HELL YEAH!
thats what i'm talking about

than we waited for around 45minutes
and the rider had arrived!!!
MUHAHAHAHA
but to find out. There was OVERWHELMING order
from NP alone and the manager had forgotten to give him the receipt and te drinks
*the manager forgot or you forgot mister rider ? *
but what the heck.
he told us another dispatch rider was already on his way
and we were HIGH when we opened the boxes
there was 9 boxes of pizza
and 6 garlic breads

if you had been reading instead of just glancing through
i had mention earlier about only 8 boxes of pizza
but there is 9 here.
we were surprised until we opened it up

wait for it
wait
wait
wait
ok

it was filled with
SWEET N SPICY DRUMPLETS !!!!!!
well you can imagine what happened after that.
food frenzy !

and we relieved those secondary moments by toasting our pepsi cups with
YAAAAAAMMMM SEHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
best day of year 2

to end it off.
we played soccer at kismiss
with everyone in our team scoring a goal
final score 13-9
we won

before i slept
i had a great conversation with alyssa
entertaining her while she brush teeth for the night!!!
its a waste her hp crashed though

thats for todays post
gtg head to school now
adioz :D

updates

2009-07-18T18:16:00.000+08:00

so my attachment has finally ended
and my first week in school has also finally ended

there are some highlights that happened that must be penned down
for it has struck me quite deeply i should say
it happened last thursday.
funny how only last week i was in attachment
it seems so darn long ago
anyway it was drizzling and i was walking
i love walking in the rain btw
an umbrella is always there in my bag but i dont open it
unless its seriously pouring .
back to the story.

i was waiting at the junction for the green man to appear
when this middle-aged dude sheltered me with his umbrella
i was quite surprised by his gesture and pulled by earplugs out
to thank him.
he waved off my thanks and proceeded to begin a conversation with me
i was more than happy to have a pleasant chat with this kind dude
and than when the green man appeared i thanked him again and told him i had to rush home
but the fact is my stride is longer than the average Asian's and i hate to walk slow
except when with a girl
thats when i HAVE to walk slow ",

after that was the last day of attachment
i had fun the entire day
me and rizal took frequent walks out of the ward
me,nat,anis,aishah and nurul sneaked to the roof for a quick puff
me and rizal walked for bloody darn long and still failed to find megabites in NUS
so when the day finally ended me and rizal actually stayed back 15mins later
just to say our goodbyes to the ANs... great people

on Wednesday, i was walking away from e-mart when dom said
"hey your girl-friend" i was like huh! what are you talking about
i'm still single dude i told him. he was looking at e-mart's entrance
i followed his gaze and guess who i saw.
The following things that happened are reality! :
my heart did a double-take
i stopped breathing
i swear my stomach wasnt there

i was too surpised to see her there than i forgot to smile
i just gawked at her! untill she felt me staring at her
her eyes grew real wide. which is quite something
and she rushed back in ",
it was quite a sight i tell you

but we havent gone out for darn bloody long
i wish this empty period will end
and we can go out again

theres still her gift that i've yet to pass her

thats all for todays's post

put me out of my misery, please

2009-06-30T07:52:00.000+08:00

so attachment finally starts
and i am so hating it.
i wished i was in the first batch instead.
because first batch is right after exams.
you are still used to getting up in the early morning

now my entire body clock has to re-program itself
and that means me being tired until than.
i wass going for attachment to see all those babies
because i'm posted to pediatric. argh the dissapointment
its mostly young kids.. more than 1yr old..
the asking alot of questions age.

and i cant stand kids in that age
they really2 irritate me. my god
the ordeal i'm going through. and ontop of that
have to wear mask. which is bloody irritating
and humid and kinda hard to breathe in the long run

stupid h1n1. i cant be bothered about it.
if get than too bad. if you have to die than you will what.
so most of the time the mask will just hang from my ear
i wont be wearing it.

9more days of attachment
bless me :(

love

2009-06-26T11:33:00.001+08:00

there will always be a phase in life
where you think you had enough of everything
whether you in a relationship or chasing someone
or just got out.

and after you get out
the feeling of self-control
being alone and having as much fun as possible
without needing to curb your actions
because of a certain someone

that feels really great
can go at it without needing anyone
for as long as your time isnt up

and when one day while you are so used to your singlehood
you meet another person.. no expectations..no nothing
you clicked with them from the first time and you find many similarities
you get amazed by their presence
because if feels like you've known them for years
but its only a couple of months

you bump into each other at school often
than wonder whether the other person is stalking you :D
you have fun talking about this on top of jokes and stuff
and you start treating them like a close friend and start telling them stuff
personal things that you wont even bother sharing with normal friends

you spend long hours talking on the phone
and unknowingly friendship evolves..
you find yourself holding onto your hp
and waiting for the text reply. you get irritated
when its another person who texts you instead
whenever the person replies, you immediately smile
suddenly nothing matters.

you cant wait to call or wait for the person to call
whenever they ask for permission to call
you say ok but you are damn happy

when you sleep you hug your bolster tighter than usual
sleep doesn't come immediately. you are smiling and thinking of them
because the conversation just ended moments ago.
you wonder how it'll be like to hug them or be hugged
as you drift to sleep

there's an unknown joy in you these days
you constantly think about them
and really cant wait to hang out with them
but suddenly things cant go your way
whenever you want to meet up something happens
the "dry spell" usually lasts a short while
but if feels like an eternity.

as soon as its over you get to go out again
and this time everything feels different
you feel more alive
their presence actually means something more
and you treasure everything that happened
when you are on the way home
you are very pleased and contended

you want to know more about them
spend more time with them
slowly they become your first priority

and you start to wonder what they think of you
its like a nagging thought at the back of mind
always there...
you try to make them happy as much as possible
and get very concerned when they get sick

you've already realized that you have fallen again
but this time its different from before
this simply happened by itself. not by your intervention
it feels more special than all your previous ones

and after awhile their opinion of you doesn't seem to matter much
you just want them to be happy
you don't care if it ends up one sided
because you are happy with the way it is
waiting for a long period of time doesn't matter

when you have reached that state
my dear friend you have truly known love :D
hope this post brings you to memories of loved ones in your life

p.s. _ __ _ , ____ ____

farmart escapades

2009-06-22T15:22:00.000+08:00

well just for enlightenment issues
i work at farmart as night security whenever my dad cant make it
as in i cover for my dad that day
this usually happens on weekends and i rarely cover for him
anyway yesterday was one such day
he didnt want to work on father's day. so i agreed to cover for him

reached farmart about 8.10 than walk2 abit
watched finding nemo on the tv
after the movie ended i was bloody darn bored.
so i called up gan and asked him to come down keep me company ya see
too bored already
he agreed to cab down around 12.
i was searching through my hp contacts when i saw some that
i stopped texting.. as in used to be my text buddies. girls of course
all good friends o mine..
and i used to be a serial mass texter... like up to 8 people at once XD
so i tried my hand at 6 i think yst night.
i was occupied for 1hr straight!!!!
no pause. i finish replying one, another text comes in
sometimes while i'm replying 5 replies will come to me
hectic but it was fun..

after an hour the hype died off
i too tired to reply already
only still texting the important female character*
* coughs violently* LOL
than watched blade the series
and soon somewhere after that ganesan came

we chated awhile than wanted to order mac
all pooled our cash together and guess what
we lacked 15cents to hace a min requirement of $21
15cents ya know.. how pathetic is that.
we couldnt digest that 15cents was going to stop our mcSpicy meal
so we went coin hunting around farmart for a 20cent coin
we seriously didnt find any damn coin
than gan just decided to ask some unknown stranger
and macdelivery was on its way !!!

after eating i called that important person*
*clears throat* ",
and we chatted and sung to old classic love songs
gan included..
from 2.30 all the way to 5
very entertaining and totally memorable :D
and her phone crashed as usual
haiz XD

me and gan went to sleep in for awhile
and in due time the shuttle bus came sending us to our homes..

what a day
:D

2009-06-21T17:55:00.000+08:00

well well
seems like i'm on fire now
and this will be my 3rd consecutive post

this post will be about the current girl that i like
i shall not type her name for confidentiality issues
if you know you know
simple :D

anyway she a friend of my friend
as they are in the same course
in ngee ann o coz

shes truly different in mind and appearance
but thats what made me notice her in the first place
i have a thing for weird people. dont ask

anyway ironically i chatted with her on msn on valentines day
and from my view.. we clicked straight away
the strange thing is we have tons of similarities
you might thing is a normal occurrence but it isnt
the sheer amount of it is mind boggling

and when we talk to each other
its like we had known each other for years
thats how comfortable we are with one another
even though up to date its only 4months

thats lots of things to talk about
but most of it is really private
so nothing much to blog in fact

just hope in the long run there might be something happening
but even if it didnt it wont bother me too much
because to have her company is good enough

if you people can grasp it
wish me luck folks :D

krazy bbq

2009-06-21T17:34:00.000+08:00

my last paper was on friday a week ago
right after the paper, our nursing clique
had organised a bbq at kismis.

did i mention i'm going to flunk all my modules
for common test ?? :D

anyway after the paper me vert and dom
went to makan place to have out "dinner"
than i parted ways to meet with syirah
did i mention shes one of my closest female friends
great girl !!
btw she just turned 18 on the 16th of june
so happy birthday dear !

oops thoughts runningwild again.
back to the bbq. ",

i met syirah at the library
she had loaned the entire season of gossip girls
seems interesting by the way she described it
maybe i'll watch it when too bored.
than we chit-chated while i accompanied her
to the shell busstop and waited for her bus.
soon the bus came and she left as i treked back up the slope
heading back to school

the guys had already started the bbq
i joined in playing soccer first than everyone started to dine
on the chicken and hotdogs
nothing beats self-cooked food
and the marinate was actually very nicely done
credits to lloyd's mum

well after that it was soccer again
and a verbal battle between express and acad
this happens all the time
5vs 1 ! miserably i'm in the lone sole
descriminating the 5 acad blokes

after that ken insisted that we steal ice from
the school swimming pool. and 4 of us followed him
none of us actually believing that an ice machine is there

but lo-and behold. he speaks the truth
me and dev climbed in and we stole ice in plastic bags
3-4 plastic bags.. my first time doing something silly in school :D

we went back to the bbq area and drinks were served
Jim Bean to be exact
after a couple of rounds and poker we were alittle "crazy"
and started dunking each other in ice water :D
at 12 around there.. it was bloody cold i tell you
and all our hp's were victim of the cold water
most of it went kuku for a few minutes after that

than came the night walk
this was around 2.45am
we went out to the ghost hotspot of our school
block 50 level 7. its barricaded by a huge gate
and its complete but for some unknown reason
its closed down
anyway apart form me and bad and daniel
the rest "felt and saw" things

the best part of the nightwalk was that at 3.33am exactly
we were sitting on the slope opp canteen 1 and sharing shost stories.
awesome experience. and than we went back to the pit
spent time clearing up. talking while crammed ath the kismis
children's playground. we left for home at around 5.45am

a day well spent with my friends.

thanks to lloyd for managing everything.
without him the bbq wouldn't have bben possible

eons

2009-06-21T17:29:00.000+08:00

i think is about time i update this page
virtual cobwebs and dust are everywhere

where to start
ok first and foremost year1 has ended
the freshmen days are over and i'm somewhere
nearing the middle of my 2nd year.

schools been hectic and the pw's out there
to murder us in cold blood.Been skipping
tons of classes and it really aint a good thing :D

currently in the 2nd week of my school holidays
next week attachment as usual. This time posted to NUH
pediatric ward. "Kind of looking forward" to it actually

guess thats about it for now

2009-05-04T19:54:00.000+08:00

Long time never blog :D

after the last post we went to chalet
best chalet of my life
really awesome experience
especially the first night
we talked all the way through the night
starting from religion to sex than watch liverpool vs chelsea
first live league match of my life and it was awesome
4-4 !!!!!!!!
after that continued talking about life and relationships all the way until 7
can never forget that all those conversations
goosebumps ...

after that school started and stuff
its already the 3rd week and i havent even bought my lecture notes
i've been skipping soooooo many lectures and classes ever since year2 started

going to join rock climbing tomorrow
its the first training and we get to climb!!
wooohooo !!!!!!!!!!

excited

chalet pictures
____________

2009-04-13T17:43:00.000+08:00

the 11th of april
theres just too many stuff to blog
about that happened in that day
and even if i can blog it all down
it still wont do justice to that day

from meeting the canteen crew family
to the havoc in the bus going to ecp
to reaching there and having lunch at mac
and playing indian poker at mac
to starting up the fire
to rollerblading
trying out the swave board/ripstick
and actually getting it conquered damn fast
to getting wet in the sea
seeing a dead big pregnant fish floating and running out of the water
changing and going to bp
the great moments at bp mac
without these people here
fun wouldnt exsist

CHEERS to my other family
canteen crew

2009-04-08T12:02:00.000+08:00

EVENING
__________

later in the evening
we planned to go causeway point for dinner
i met aslam at 5.45 than went to the busstop to wait for martha
than while waiting and talking, i realised than i never bring the cash
i quickly brisk walk( my brisk walk is damn fast) home and got the cash
than i was slowly walking to the damn busstop
than i saw the bus. It was at the junction going to turn to the busstop.
wahh fcuking sian!!!!!!!!!!
quickly sprinted to the busstop and made it in time...
boarded the bus and sat down with martha
than the 3 of us chit chat until reached causeway point
than we go walk around.. martha bought a shower cap for her mum
than we walked around window shopping and afiq joined us outside burgerking.

than huda came running to us
she lost her voice, no idea due to what
and she decided to join us for dinner
it was a coincidence but it was nice seeing her
after like what ,1 year ???
she is still the same except yer voice was gone
and she looked damn tired
this is the stressful life of a jc student.
we crashed at pasta mania.
it was my first time eating there
damn nice the food and we had great fun
talking laughing screwing one another..
and the best joke goes to afiq..
utterly hilarious and truly original

and we later went to civic. huda had to leave as she had school the next day
we poly buggers are on HOLIDAYS !!!!!!!!!!!!
martha went to meet her friend to collect something
than we sat down and i shared some stuff about my life
and aslam martha and afiq were quite surprised
i rarely talk about myself. i'm more of a listener.
and my life is pretty fcuked up !
but i'm still happy with it :D

the best part of the day was the going home part
afiq left earlier to meet his other friends
so me martha and aslam took the same bus home together

a huge drama took place in that short ride home
i'd love to share it
cause its HILARIOUS
but due to privacy issues i cant blog about it
but yesterday was one heck of a fun day

BBQ is nearing.. SATURDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-08T11:43:00.000+08:00

i'm utterly shagged !!!!!!!!!!!
woke up and prepared to go play badminton
went to the meeting place
which was cck mrt control station
and i was the bloody first one there

and i wasnt early.. just on time..
10 mins later aslam and tecksheng came
afiq was sick so he couldnt make it.
another 10 mins later allon came
we called hamid and he just woke up
so we ask him hurry down and went
to the sports complex..
but since i had 2 rackets
hamid had another 2 and kishaan 1
( and they were late by 40mins)
we headed to dada house and loaned another extra racket

go book the court and started playing
first game me and tecksheng-i won
2nd game me and aslam-i won
3rd me and allon-i won
4th me and shafeeq-i won
5th me and kishaan-i won
6th me and hamid-iwon
LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the first 4 games i played consecutively
damn tiring..
btw we play 3sets with a game point of 12..
i won everyone..
shafeeq,aslam,hamid came very close to beating me
they damn good sia.. by luck i won them
and a teeny weeny use of placing shots

than came the doubles time
i paired up with shafeeq
we got good communication and we play good individually
summore hes short and i'm tall..
he play back and me front..
we won both matches
without stretching before playing
all those running,jumping and
the extreme stretches to get to the shuttle cock
all crammed up my thigh muscles damn pain

the day's events continues on top

2009-04-07T07:54:00.000+08:00

so last friday after prayers
went to bpp first to accompany hamid buy food
than me aslam and afiq set off to my house
i was supposed to paint my sis room
but me alone it would have taken another 2 more days

so i called down aslam and afiq
reached my house than i had lunch first.
the rest had already eaten
than kishaan came down

we changed to our painting attire and started moving the furniture
in my sis room. actually only me and aslam moved
kishaan and afiq were already slacking
after we moved out the furniture
kishaan had to go off to swim with his dad
in his ELECTRIC BLUE SPEEDOS
its a sight to be seen i tell you
utterly hilarious

we mixed the paints and started painting
it was afiq first time and aslams 2nd time..
damn lot of fun. we started around 3.30
by 5.30-6 we wee craving for finger food
so i asked my mum make sandwiches
had to make 2 times.. i only got to eat 3...
the rest were wacked by the other two

than we had some guy to guy talk
learned more about what happened in each other
catching up time. we finished painting by 8.

when we looked around the room and see it fully painted
the sense of accomplishment !!!!!!!!!!
it isnt perfect but its done by us
by 8.30 they left and it was time
for the torturous part of bathing and removing the paint off the skin

going to go off play badminton and cck sports complex
than this sat got bbq !!!!!!!!!!!!!
cant wait

2009-04-06T07:47:00.000+08:00

so we were supposed to be in a chalet today
enjoying ourselves and having a hell of a time
but it seems not all things work in our favour

we had the cash
we had the people
but we had no ntuc card
what a bummer..
if you have a ntuc card it only cost 188 for 3d2n
if you dont it cost a mind blowing 400
and costa sands downtown chalet is TINY !!!!!!!!!!!!

we really wanted to go for a chalet
so we searched through aloha
and lady luck was shining on our side
there was empty slots for 14-16..
its a terrace chalet(Biggin terrace C)
and it only cost 100 per night
so plus gst 214 for 3d2n

was going to book than another problem
need credit card to book
we searched around and afiq's friend had one
and she agreed to let us use it !!!!!!!!!!!!!
thanks !!!!!

now the chalet is booked
14-16 april
man its going to be CRAZY
except for 1 all ther hermanos are coming
and this week on the 11th got bbq at ecp summore

this hols are the BESt !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-31T09:55:00.000+08:00

yay !!!!!!!!!
my tonsils are healing and thats a good thing..
back to solid food once again
after 3 days of soft diet

went down to school to collect application form for bond
than the clerk told me i have to get it from internet myself.
waste my time go school
fedup sia.
than head on down to cck sports complex
met up with my clique
had fun playing badminton in the court
damn fun

than bathe in the toilet also noisy
i sprayed shampoo on the cubicle walls
pity the cleaners..

hamid nearly slipped and fell in the toilet
aslam came up with his own bicep curl technique
kishaan is another Rafael nadel wanabe with the hair
allon is just freaking hilarious for coming with us
mavin and shafeeq are gay as usual

life cant get any better

we booked chalet while chatting at conference
wanted kishaan to use the dad's credit card secretly
but he ended up telling the dad
but we still booked it

6-8
3d2n in costa sands near wild2 wet

SEX !!!!!!!

post-everything

2009-03-27T17:42:00.000+08:00

from exams
to attachment
all the workload is over

now for the fruits of my labour
the great holidays
but i cant seem to enjoy it
i got tonsilitis...

tonsilitis is an infection of your tonsils
which is bloody painful......

attachment
____________

3weeks in NUH ward 51
ortho ward .. patients with broken bones
torn ligaments all will be admitted there

its was kinda fun as we had so much free time
me and john slacked all the way
and whenever badrun same shift as me
we'll take the patients biscuits go outside buy milo and eat
the fun days now that i look back at it
but during that time to come to the hospital daily was a torture...

Exams results
___________

quite happy
never failed any module this time around
improvement.. gpa also increased by 0.5...
now gpa is 2.5 !!!!!!!!!!
damn happy

cant wait to slack the holidays with friends
will change the look of my blog soon

valentines day

2009-02-08T10:58:00.000+08:00

i added two new songs
i just love the katty perry-yhinking of you
awesome song awesome voice
anyway saturday was spent meeting up
with some of the greatest friends

after nearly 3 or 4 month
we gathered at yew tee to play soccer again
great to see aslam again
we rarely meet this days

more camps please !!!
they give great memories

hermanos para la vida

secondary school would have been hell without them
and canteen crew too
although canteen crew is a bit fcuked up now

as valentines day draws nearer
i'm having random dreams about shahirah
i dont know why sia
its like randomly popping here and there
and i dont like the way they make me feel afterwards

guess i've been single for far too long
its been 2 years already sia

what are you thinking haris
i'm a seriously screwed up individual
thats the peak of the iceberg for you
theres more of me that will never be shown

when will these nightmare end
in my life of misery

heaven knows ..................................

OCH

2009-02-03T20:50:00.000+08:00

it was just a harmless thought
sat night i was damn bored
so i told badrun lets go out 2mrw

than we thinking where to go
i thought of ecp cycle again like the last time
but than thought the others wouldnt want
than badrun also suggest go cycle ecp
swee now 2 people with the same idea

than we begin calling people
lloyd jiayi me badrun ken vert
vert couldnt make it
jiayi say wanna come than ltr pangseh us

JIAYI PS XD

we supposed to meet at 1.30 but by the time we met at ecp
3 already
borrow bike than went to cycle
than i suggest go OCH.
coz i never go before and hamid said can cycle there
power uh! all up for it
we thought changi quite near
its 10+km away
1r plus of non stop cycling
finally we reached OCH
at 1st we scared2 walk around
than dont wanna go 2nd floor
when we about to leave
1 guy from the chalet nearby just came up

bugger sia.. he come alone explore OCH
than we go with him explore the 2nd floor
than came down again
than i say lets take pic uh

so we went back into OCH
than started taking pics.. now abit daring already
so we went up 2nd floor by ourselves
and started exploring and taking pics

while we taking ken said
5.30 must leave.. than i ask why
he said 5.30 its considered to them evening
so they will show themselves

than exactly at 5.30
1 door slammed
"KABAM!!!!!!!!!!!!"
OCH is damn quiet.. and there was no wind
so we decided its our que to leave and gladly left

by the time we reached back to ecp
we were 2hrs late for bike
since 1hr than 1hr free
we only needed to pay for 1 extra hr

our thigh muscled were screaming on the return journey
from changi to ecp
but this time it only took 40 mins

10km to
10km fro

never have i cycled so far in my entire life

OCH pics

we never saw anything in OCH
but it was still very creepy
as the staircases were almost pitch black
there was no wind
and we keep hearing window opening sound
or door closing sound

is it haunted ?
you be the judge

2009-01-31T19:54:00.000+08:00

another week has passed
not much happened this week
i shall update when something happens

i'm too lazy
loving the song

2009-01-25T09:57:00.000+08:00

this whole week has been vey hectic
with projects to present
from near debarrment
to almost daily soccer games
1st lan game since sch re opened
to finally painting my room

1st and foremost
i have a brand new stylish hp
after so long
LG secret : semi touch w 5mp
tortally awesome piece of shit
and its stylish to boot

SAWI presentation was done on tuesday
i thing it went well
than aft the class me and vert were notified
that we have less than 80% attendence and we would be debarred

we skipped cmbio prac and went to ourspace to write our appeal
damn stresses i tell eu
coz they will send letter to the house
than we took matters into our own hands
and went to see the module leader
he listened to our reasons for skipping class
which was utter bullshit ( went to study)
and he accepcted it.. i suspect he knows that we didnt study
because he taught us before
so we didnt get debarred

next day went to see our sawi teacher for counselling
we told her we saw Mr lim shi an
than she was like "okok"
than she ask our reason again
i couldnt lie to her
so i told her i went to play soccer
than she started nagging and telling that this is unfair
ended up in the counselling form she wrote that
i went to study
CHEERS to Miss Aqila

than it was soccer all the way
and before we know it its the end of the week

supposed to go Ash bdae today
but i have to paint my room finish
started yst w the undercoat
2dae the real shit begins

so ASH
really sorry i cant come to your chalet
But HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY

pics of the day

soccer friday night

painting spree

lan shop at alumni

badrun sleeping in AAP lecture

vert with his super gay shower bag
emo ken eating chickn chop
badrun looks very weird

me and vert stressed! writing appeal letter

LOSERS

2009-01-18T10:31:00.000+08:00

this is so efing boring
skipped fon class
than watched youtube in lib

kept getting calls from amanda
but than i cant pick up coz my hp
is that advanced
talk abt back-dated

than .........................
lloyd got calls from her
he dun wanna talk so nvr pick
than the teacher called
and he picked up

spun a whole story about
hw we played soccer that one guy gt injured
and we went to the hospital
the teacher totally bought the story

but while he was spinning it
amanda somehow found us
idk hw she knew we were there
but there she was

kept nagging and nagging y we didnt go
exams are getting nearer
we not scared al all uh
pissed me off pretty bad

than she go off
i and lloyd went to np gate to smoke
i was pretty pissed off at her
than i started saying
" talk so much.. she herself not gd in studies
than wanna advice ppl around.. confirm i won her
for the mic retest uh"

wen we went back to class
lo and behold
indeed i beat her in the re test

for some1 who nagged me
eu really need to start studying more than me
amanda start studying very hard
and mayb just mayb eu'll win me

pretty pissed off when ppl nag at me
if eu are superior eu have the rights
if inferior................................

2009-01-15T20:05:00.000+08:00

and so i met another girl
a classmate of mine in NP
shes oso going throught the same stuff

and she so stressed that she picked up smoking
at 1st i didnt know abt all this
than we were eating 2gether in makan place
and dev called me wether wanna smoke
so i said ok and that prepared to leave

she then asked me if she can tag along
than i was like i'm going off to smoke la
she said i know.. i oso want to smoke

i was like ??? when eu started ???
than she told me...
hmm.. so stress untill pick up smoking
hope she stop soon
smoking isnt good for health !!!!

aft playing soccer in the morning and night of
wednesday aka yesterday
i'm fcuking shagged
2day morning woke up
my leggs were cramped up

cant even walk properly
damn pain too
decide to rest for today and skipped sch
by noon it was ok
followed afiq to ica
bugger just collected his biometric passport
PULAU REDANG BRO !!!!!!!!!!!!

than met farhan
go bugis junction
afiq bought himself brazalian pralia
or wadeva its called...
than went over to burger king

aft that bought Q apple flavour this time
oso damn nice
finished it between me and afiq
while farhan was smoking away
we were also smoking btw

than home swit home